


His Way Home: Otto Reijnders (no. xx1)

by cantletgo, StarsAreMyOcean



Series: His Way Home (A Lizzington AU RP) [1]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: AU Lizzington RP, F/M, Lizzington RP, Tumblr RP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:29:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantletgo/pseuds/cantletgo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAreMyOcean/pseuds/StarsAreMyOcean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red is determined to give Liz the personal space she's craved and to have the professional relationship she desires. Liz finds the distance numbing and tries to define herself in a life outside of Raymond Reddington. The pair find themselves in pursuit of a new Blacklister, Otto Reijnders, a wicked man who sees people as nothing more than cattle with a price on every part. Through all the pain of families being torn apart, Red and Liz find themselves on a journey to discover who they are as a couple and whether or not there is hope...</p><p>AU, post 4A. Tumblr RP that evolved into much more. Bounces between Red's and Liz's perspectives.</p><p>Angst, fluff, smut, and eventual happiness.<br/>Explicit rating for sex and violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rough Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is an on-going freeform Lizzington AU (post 4a) RP that bounces between Red and Liz's perspectives. For more details, including a Prologue, Intro, live updates, etc. you can check out the RPs Tumblrs ([@hiswayhome](http://hiswayhome.tumblr.com/) & [@conciergeinred](http://conciergeinred.tumblr.com/)). If you prefer to read in the original format, [Red is keeping track for you here on Tumblr.](http://conciergeinred.tumblr.com/xx1-toc) (NOTE: they are unedited, so there will be mistakes that have been corrected in this collected format)
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> All NSFW chapters will be marked accordingly in the chapter notes!

Liz had a hangover from hell, the stench of regret still thick on her breath. She pulled on the robe hanging from the bathroom door and clumsily fell to her knees in front of the toilet. The wave of nausea wracked her body as dull moans escaped her chapped lips.

She couldn’t remember the events of last night, only that she awoke alone, naked, and thoroughly empty inside. She regularly forgot to eat during a night of binge drinking. That little habit was smacking her in the face at this very moment. What had happened? What had she become? Somewhere in the process of finding space and finding herself, she lost every piece of her puzzle that truly mattered in the first place. She’s messed everything up and the smell of vomit and spilled booze wouldn’t let her forget it.

One dry heave later and her phone started vibrating rapidly from the other room. She leaned back against the wall, the cool tile against her defeated feet, and ignored the call. She was in no shape to move, let alone talk. She waited a moment and the phone rang again. Still, she ignored it. Finally, with the third insistent call, she clamored to her knees and pushed herself into the bedroom. She reached for the bright screen and pressed it firmly to her ear, too hurried to check and see who was calling.

“Hello? Hello?” She croaked, but she had missed the call again.

She waited a moment for a fourth call, leaving the phone haphazardly on the night stand as she ran, yet again, to the toilet and to her knees. She was interrupted by a knock on the door that was too impatient to wait for her answer. She heard the locks click and the door swing open.

* * *

Red was kneeling on the floor in front of the door, lock picks in hand as the door gently swung in. He was glad Lizzy was finally taking his advice and staying in one place for Agnes. But the least she could do was give him a key.

Not that she would ever do that. She was all but done with him and he didn’t blame her. All the things he had done, and worse, the things he hadn’t. He put the tools away and recomposed himself as he stood.

“Lizzy?” He queried to an empty room. A horrible retching echoed out from the bathroom. His eyes fluttered shut. Had he really driven her to this? Was he really so terrible a person that she found solace at the bottom of a bottle or in the arms of another man? He looked to the bed before continuing further. Looks like she slept alone last night at least.

“Lizzy, are you alright?” He slowly walked through the room, grabbing a towel from the closet on his way to her.

* * *

_Shit_.

Why does he just let himself in like that?! The door is locked for a reason, something she doubts he’d ever understand. Setting boundaries was on the top of her "To-Do list" with Reddington, but she never seemed to get around to it after… _everything_.

She couldn’t even pull her robe tighter before another wave of awful body-trembling heaving ensued. She wanted to tell him to go. To, at the very least, wait outside but it was no use. Her mouth was otherwise occupied. She could feel his eyes scanning every inch of her body and the heat of embarrassment climbed up her spine. Or maybe that was blood rushing to compensate for the sudden loss of liquids. But she knew for sure that her trembling hands had nothing to do with his sudden presence and the echo of her name on his lips.

* * *

A petite and trembling hand desperately clung to the edge of the terry robe, trying to keep the wearer modest in her less than modest predicament. Realizing he was staring, Red moved to the sink, where he wet a hand towel with cool water.

Squatting next to Liz, he reached out to her. He paused a moment before touching, the last thing he wanted to do was violate her. He could sense his presence wasn’t welcome, even amidst the sour vomit.

“Lizzy. Please. Let me help you. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to but if I leave, an ambulance will be here before I exit the building.” He wondered how much alcohol she had consumed. Sweat drenched hair clung to her forehead, accentuating her pallor.

* * *

She didn’t move. She froze in embarrassment. In silence. This was the last thing she wanted Red to see after their uncomfortable parting. The empty bottles and discarded clothes strewn across her floor. The weeks old stack of empty take-out containers still piled next to the trash can, over flowing onto the counter.

If he wasn’t here, she could have at least pretended she had everything together. Like her decision, _no plea_ , for distance had been the right one. Her eyes snapped shut gathering her courage, her confidence, her independence. She hadn’t realized how desperate she was to hear his voice. To hear that deep baritone whisper her name, his hot breath on her ear. Maybe that’s what she was searching for at the bottom of every empty glass and in the eyes of every discarded lover after all. But she was done being a damsel, not for him, not for anyone.

She pushed herself away from the toilet, propping back up against the wall. Exhausted, frustrated, and horribly sick, any modesty she once had was out the door. She grasped the towel from his hand, brushing his fingers ever so slightly, and dabbed at the corners of her own mouth.

* * *

He watched as she slid down the wall inch by inch. By the time she reached the floor, her robe had slid from her shoulder. He was dying inside watching her do this to herself. She had no idea what she was doing, to the both of them.

Why hadn’t he told her about those nights in the opium den? Or when he traveled to Cape May and let the ocean wash against his ankles as it slowly opened its welcoming arms…

He understood she wanted to be the heroine of her own story. But today was not that day.

That was it.

He would have to beg forgiveness later and risk further alienation.

“Elizabeth. I know you don’t want me here. I know how strong willed you are. But this…this is destruction and chaos. I’ve been there, there is nothing waiting for you at the end of this road except more self-loathing and hatred. Let me help, if only for a moment.” One last plea, and then he would leave. He had to try.

* * *

There was no sigh to be had. No bitter swipe at the three-day old stubble gracing his jaw line. No smart mouthed comment would get her out of this one. Pushing him away was useless for the both of them. She looked down at her exposed body, the rotten robe, and the disgusting tile floor she’d meant to clean weeks ago.

“I must look like shit,” she couldn’t help but chuckle at her own helplessness. No matter what she needed or wanted from Red in the past, they had an intimacy that went beyond a minor 'bad night' of embarrassment. As he moved forward she slid into his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Don’t let me ruin your suit.”

* * *

Feeling her resting against his shoulder made his heart sing! Oh, how long he had wanted to feel her in his arms again! Red gently slid one arm under her knees and delicately wrapped the other around her shoulders.

“You are worth far more to me than any bespoke suit Lizzy. The suit I can replace. You on the other hand, I cannot.” With a grunt he hoisted her from the floor. Liz gently tucked her face into the crease of his shoulder and Red became aware of a wetness forming there.

He brought her to the bed and carefully laid her on the sheets. He removed the towel from her hand and after refolding it, gently dabbed her face and neck. It looked as though she had barely slept in days and she was certainly dehydrated. Reaching for a nearby trash bin, he pulled it closer to the bed. Her body was no longer shaking, so the brunt of it must be over.

“I’m going to grab you a glass of water and a clean towel.”

* * *

Just as suddenly as he came, he disappeared. In the few brief moments he was gone she wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. Her chest constricted and tightened in anxiousness for his return. Disappointed in her weakness and terrified by her own lucidity, she turned over and curled into a ball. She dug her face desperately into the pillow and tightly squeezed her eyes shut until bright yellow and orange spots filled her vision.

His footsteps echoed his return and her heartbeat slowed back down into security. The wave of panic subsided as his hand caressed her upper arm softly and down between her exposed shoulder blades. She couldn’t help but press into his hand. She may not be able to form the words to ask him to stay, but this was the best she could do. A silent language she hoped they still shared.

* * *

It was a small gesture, but one he understood clearly. He dug his hand in harder, playing with the lumps of her shoulder blades then moving on to massage every knob of her spine. He could hear a soft moan of appreciation. Much as he hated to break the contact once again, he needed her to drink something. With a gentle tugging, Red removed the robe from Liz. There was very little it was still covering and honestly, she would be much more comfortable sleeping off this hangover with just the sheet surrounding her.

Removing his hand from her back, he gently pulled her side in attempt to get her to roll over. A mildly irritated groan echoed from somewhere within Liz as her body finally acknowledged the external influence. Sitting at the head of the bed, Red tenderly picked Liz up, resting her against his chest once more. He cautiously grabbed the glass from the nightstand.

“Can you drink on your own? We’ll be an even bigger mess if I have to attempt to tip this for you. Much as I enjoy splashing around with a beautiful woman, now is not the time.” He held onto the drink as her hands slowly joined his.

* * *

She couldn’t help but chuckle. She accompanied the laughter with a sharp elbow that dug decisively into Red’s ribs. It was somewhat ineffective at this angle, but she got her point across the best she could while leaning against the soft fabric of his waistcoat.

“Drinking got me here, what’s one more?” The sarcasm dripped from her tongue and bit into her skin. She reached for the glass. Her hand shook at the new strain, arms lifting, muscles groaning. She fought to settle it, the water vibrating like restless waves until Red’s hand wrapped around her’s.

She couldn’t see his eyes or the look on his face, but she imagined concern laced with anger at her irresponsibility. He helped guide the glass to its destination like a swinger at the local watering hole teaching a floozy to shoot pool, pressed tightly behind with actions reading far beyond their surface.

The water trickled down her throat and reluctantly, her chin as well. She couldn’t remember the last time anything tasted this good. It hurt as it burned down her throat like the liquor bottle never could. It replenished and revitalized the nerve endings until she was too keenly aware of the new situation she found herself in. Naked. In bed. Against Reddington’s chest. Too bad sanity and sleep began to take her or she might have made some decisions she’d regret in the morning.

* * *

After a few sips, he removed the glass from her hands, setting it to the side once more. Red leaned back against the headboard, pulling Lizzy with him. With a swift flick of the wrist, he jerked blankets up and around them. They softly fell upon bare breasts and Red felt a slight shudder from Liz at the cool rush of air.

Large, rough hands smoothed wild brunette hair. Eyes closed with a heavy sigh. He would permit himself this one guilty indulgence. To be close to the women he loved, the women he had been trying to forget. It was almost more than he could bear.

There was much to talk about, but for the next few hours they could rest in the comfort of each other’s presence. Perhaps they could find a middle ground. Maybe there was hope for them after all. For the first time in an eternity, he permitted himself to imagine what could be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd really just like to say, "welcome to our twisted world" because we honestly don't know what the f*** we're doing but we're dying in feels and sailing our ship into a sunset. Where they'll burn. Probably? Here we go. -cantletgo


	2. Work, Work, Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fluff train pulls into the station with this one folks! Let the case begin!

Liz’s arm extended and danced across cool empty sheets. Her first attempt at opening her sleep caked eyes had left her dazed and pained by the bright daylight penetrating her half-slit blinds. Once she realized she was alone again, she sat up quickly doing a quick scan of the room.

“Red,” she called quietly. Part of her wanted an answer, to hear his snarky voice dance in from the other room, but another part knew the already painful reality. He was gone. She stood up too quickly, sending her head spinning, but nothing as bad as last night. Her bare feet padded to her closet where she hastily grabbed an old t-shirt and underwear, sliding them on as she entered the main room of the crappy apartment.

She, again, was alone in the light of day. She questioned if any of last night was real. Her memories started to blur and fade until there was nothing left but warm hands and waistcoats. That's when she saw it. There was a note with beautiful red script lying delicately on the counter next to two aspirin and a half full glass of water. She took the pills and downed glass before she started reading.

* * *

_ _

_Elizabeth,_

_Please take a day just for you. I have already informed Mr. Kaplan you and Agnes require another day of her services. I took it upon myself to send your laundry out. Dembe will return it this afternoon along with some groceries._

_Thank you for allowing a foolish man the indulgence of remaining the night. I am truly sorry for all the suffering and misfortune I have caused you these past years._

_You asked for me to leave you space and I shall oblige. If ever you find yourself seeking my presence again, you know where to find me._

_Raymond_

* * *

Liz held the letter in her hand, thumb caressing his signature.

 _You know where to find me_.

She was hoping to find him beside her in bed this morning, but that would have been too easy. No, he was right, she asked for space and it was her turn to swallow her pride and ask him to come back.

She placed the note in the top drawer of her nightstand next to a photo of Agnes and started getting ready for work. She needed to get back into the office. She needed to see Aram and talk through things with someone more level headed, someone she trusted.

Two hours and one hot shower later, she was stepping out of the elevator and into the labyrinth that was the Post Office. Things had been a little awkward with Ressler since their romantic encounters, but it was slowly falling back into place. Nothing another blacklister couldn’t fix. She welcomed the distraction to fit her relationships back into place. Maybe she’d be forced to meet with Reddington to consult. Or maybe he’d hide and send Dembe in his place.

Cooper stepped into the bullpen and started the morning briefing.

* * *

Red stood silently off to the side of Harold, gaze softly focused on Elizabeth. She was doing her best to stay hidden in the back of the huddle near Aram, and away from Red. He was trying to listen to what Harold was saying, but the task was proving to be a near impossible feat. Liz had a look of concern and disquiet plastered all over her face. A little piece of Red died inside every time she wore that look. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Harold’s body shift, and attempted to focus once more. He almost missed his queue…

“The recent string of abductions all have one thing in common: their medical histories. All have particular blood types, clean bills of health, and the majority are the perfect age for rearing of children. I can think of only one person interested in such a combination, Otto Reijnders. Truly one of the most foul human beings to walk the Earth and the next name on the blacklist. If you ever wanted to know where human trafficking and the black market for organs crossed, he’s your man. For decades, he has scoured all corners of the globe searching for the perfect candidates for his business ventures.” He paused briefly, shaking his head side to side.

“That is only where our story begins. The truly horrific part is the rumors that began circulating in the eighties. Rumors of a warehouse where he breeds people like one would cattle. The sole intention of this, to later kill these people and harvest them for their organs, bones, blood…anything and everything Otto can put a price on. Sounds like he’s in need of new breeding stock and has resurfaced to replenish.”

* * *

Liz looked in his direction once during the entirety of the briefing. She hadn’t expected to see him here. Before anyone else moved she broke away and hurried off to her office, brushing Aram’s arm, their silent signal.

Ressler’s eyes moved from Liz to Red, but he didn’t chase after her. Ress instead picked up where Reddington had left off, giving all the information that the Bureau had on Reijnders to the remaining agents.

Aram’s head peaked around the corner. Liz sighed with relief and waved him over, closing the door behind him.

“Aram, we need to talk.” Her head was still pounding, her condition obvious. Once Aram was over his concern, he was ready with advice and hugs, something Liz could always rely on with him. He was the first to be understanding after the whole... death. It had taken some time to rebuild the trust but for some ungodly reason Aram was too forgiving for his own good. He truly was the nicest and understand human being Liz had the pleasure of knowing.

//

“You need to talk to him Liz,” Aram pleaded, his hand gently placed on her forearm.

“It’s never that simple with us,” Liz almost snorted. Finally a smile had crept back onto her face when the door to her office opened.

* * *

All he could do was watch longingly as Liz left the briefing. He wanted to go after her but he couldn’t. That would cross the line she had drawn, no…etched, in stone. All he could do was hope the healing flow of time would erode the stone and allow waves of love to polish it into something beautiful.

How long could he really remain distant from her? And would she ever allow him back in? I certainly wouldn’t. he thought in response. He was unworthy of the love of a woman like Elizabeth Keen. Bitter feelings churned in his gut.

//

Donald had finished speaking, doling out tasks to the various members of the team. A hand clasped on Red’s shoulder, bringing him out of his self-hating thoughts.

“What’s wrong Reddington? You’re normally more involved in these briefings.”

Red could feel fierce green eyes piercing into the side of his head.

“I grow weary of this hunt.” He tumbled thoughts around his mouth before continuing, “How is Elizabeth?”

“Fine.” There was a palpable tension between them. Red suspected Donald and Elizabeth had been intimate and he was certain Donald was aware of Red’s feelings for her.

“We need to talk soon. Keep an eye on our girl.” With that, he swept his fedora on his head and was gone.

* * *

Liz had half hoped Red was the one walking through the door, but to her disappointment it was only Samar. She smiled happily at Aram, something Liz had waited so long to see.

 _I used to have that smile_ , she thought.

She let Aram go, the two had lunch plans. He had invited her last second, earnest as he could, but she declined and started pour through the case files Ressler had waiting for her on the desk.

“Trouble in paradise?” Donald sat down heavily in his seat. She arched one eyebrow, unsure of what he meant. He quickly got the signal. “When Reddington tells me we need to _talk_ soon, it’s never a good sign.” Ressler’s grimace said it all.

“Ress, I’m sorry I know it’s-”

“Keen, stop. We’ve already discussed it. We’re fine. You’re the best damn partner a guy could ask for. Whatever happened with us is in the past.” Liz sighed happily, she was lucky to still have Donald on her good side. Most ex-lovers would never be so easy to deal with, let alone still be great friends with. She stood, grabbing her keys, and kissed the top of his head.

“Thank you,” she murmured, her hand still on his shoulder. He didn’t look up, only nodded, and she was off.

//

“Keen, where are you off to?” Cooper yelled from across the bullpen as she called the elevator down.

“I have a lead on victim’s family, could be nothing, but I thought I’d check it out.” Samar and Aram were still out. The Post Office was unusually quiet.

“Take Ressler, I don’t want you out in the field without a service weapon.”

“I’m stopping by Reddington’s first, see if he doesn’t have more information on this lead. I’ll take Dembe with me if I need to. Don’t worry about me, sir.” Harold’s face changed quickly, assessing her state.

“Elizabeth, are you okay?” His words were quick and his tone hushed. He started his stride towards her.

“Yeah of course, Agnes just wouldn’t fall asleep last night.” Liz stepped into the elevator before he could ask any more questions, waving goodbye.

* * *

A soft knock on the door ripped Red’s attention away from the documents he was browsing. He wasn’t expecting any visitors. Tossing the papers aside, he shot up and drew his gun.

“Dembe,” he called and nodded towards the door. The two men crept to the door, ready to fire. Red peered out the peephole and almost dropped his gun at the sight that greeted him.

“Elizabeth…” the name was barely audible but it registered to Dembe who holstered his weapon. Seeing Red was still frozen, he gently squeezed his arm, encouraging the man to do the same. Red hoped the deer-in-the-headlights look he felt in his soul wasn’t visible on his face. He closed his eyes and tucked the firearm away.

“Raymond?” Dembe still held on to Red’s bicep.

“I’m fine Dembe.” Red released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. His fingers made quick work of the door’s chain and lock. He couldn’t help but stare at the woman standing there, struggling to find words that usually came so easily.

“Lizzy…this is certainly a surprise. What do you need?” 

* * *

His face was cold, no emotion, almost dismissive. This was a mistake. She shouldn’t have come here. The files in her hands weighed heavier than ever, melting her fingers to the ground, curving her back, the weight of embarrassment eating at her stability.

“A lead. This family stuck out to me, something about the way their child was taken, it’s not sitting right. I’m going to interview them, they’re not too far, but Cooper wanted to know if you recognized the name. Maybe if you had any useful information.”

She didn’t step across the threshold, he didn’t step aside to invite her in. When Red wouldn’t take the documents she extended forward, she resigned to push them into Dembe’s hands who was still hovering close, protectively close, to his friend.

* * *

Her expression changed so suddenly, he could have sworn someone shot her. It wasn’t long before he realized  _he_  was the bullet that caused that pain. Why was he standing there so emotionless and stiff? His eyes shifted quickly down the hall.

“If you want to discuss this, come in. We shouldn’t do business out here.” he relaxed his muscles, preparing to move if she accepted the offer.

* * *

“I don’t _want_ to discuss anything Raymond.” The words were out before she could stop herself. Her features hardened in defense, her posture became aggressive, the headache pounded like a ceremonial gong at the center of her forehead.

“I just needed to know if I was going in blind into the hornet’s nest, alone and unarmed.” She pulled her jacket tighter, she felt too exposed.

She knew she wanted space, but not this cold dead thing it became. Not after so much heat. She didn’t know _what_ exactly she expected, maybe that he’d sigh with relief upon seeing her, stare motionlessly into her eyes and she’s just _know_.

But now she does know. She turned to leave, her boots echoing down the long well-furnished hallway. It took every ounce of power to stay straight, to keep from falling. Her legs wobbled and streaks of vertigo danced behind her eyes, throbbing.

* * *

Dembe and Red exchanged concerned glances briefly before Red chased after her. He wasn’t going to let her get away this time. Quickly closing the distance between them, he grabbed her wrist and spun her to face him. Their faces only inches apart.

“Lizzy, we can’t keep doing this. You need to decide here and now what you want you want from us. You can’t just wind me up like a music box to sing you a tune whenever the mood strikes.” Her eyes darted downward.

* * *

His eyes moved over her body, she wasn't expecting a chase. She hadn’t planned on playing hard ball either, but here they were. She looked one more time into his anxious eyes, his hand still taunt around her wrist. She moved in, her lips locking with his.

“I need you to be the man I’ve always known you to be. Step up to the plate Red. I won’t tolerate you lying to me again.” Her hands skimmed across his jaw and down to the base of his neck.

“We’re partners in this and I refuse to always be two steps behind. I trust you but you need to trust me. Know the truth won’t send me away.” She kissed him one more time.

* * *

He felt a fire burning in his heart. Kisses were never so simple as they appeared.

“I have never lied to you Lizzy. I know you find that hard to believe after recent incidents, but do not mistake my desperation to keep you safe or misinformation as an attempt to lie.” He finally released his grip on her wrist.

“Trust.” He chuckled softly. “You once asked me if you should trust me…” His jaw limply hung as he tried to compose his thoughts. “How far we have come.” His voice trailed off, the thought lost to the shadows of the dimly lit hallway.

“Lizzy, I won’t beg, I won’t plead…but I would appreciate if you would come into the room and talk.” He could feel tears welling up, but used every bit of his strength to keep them from spilling over.

* * *

She felt dizzy, being released from his grasp, released from his lips. She placed her head softly against his chest and closed her eyes. She snaked her arms around his center and sigh heavily.

“Yeah, we need to talk.”

She followed him back through the door and into the room. Dembe had vanished, leaving the pair alone for their first serious talk in ages. It seemed to finally set in once the dizziness faded and the lingering heat of his touch wore off. She felt the anxiousness pool into her veins.

He still stood by the door, observing her like an animal in a new environment. She grabbed a pillow on the couch and tucked it under one arm. Keeping her hands busy, she rubbed at her scar instinctively. Waiting.

* * *

He paced about the bar area, nervously pouring himself a drink.

“Care for a glass?” He flashed a bottle of whiskey at her. In all honesty, he wasn’t prepared for this conversation. It was one he knew they needed to have, but that knowledge didn’t ease his mind.

* * *

“Probably shouldn’t if you want to avoid a repeat of last night,” she half chuckled half mumbled in disappointment. Her eyes were still fixed on the floor in front of her, unsure if she’d show restraint if their eyes met again.

* * *

He winced at her self-deprecating humor, she was as bad as he. He glanced at the golden liquid and thought perhaps she was right to decline the drink. Leaving the glass, he waltzed across the room and settled onto the chair opposite her. He thrust his elbows backwards, reclining to stare at the ceiling.

“Where do we begin?” His voice weak, carrying none of its regular intensity.

* * *

Liz leaned forward, placing her elbows firmly on her knees. She looked up, brown hair brushing just over her eyes.

“When we were on the run… That night. Why didn’t you stay? Why didn’t we try?” She kept her gaze calm and focused, like analyzing a mark, building a profile of tells, truths, and lies. She was ready to know the real Raymond Reddington.

* * *

A heavy sigh parted Red’s lips. He rolled his head forward, cocking it ever so slightly to the side.

“We weren’t safe. I could not allow myself to engage further in such pleasure knowing someone was barely a step behind, ready to take everything away…” a familiar burning sensation poked at the corner of his eyes. His turned his gaze upwards once more, head swaying ever so slightly.

“I lost you once Lizzy. I wasn’t letting that happen again while I still drew breath. I left because it was the only thing I could do. This…feral instinct overwhelmed me and the only thing I could do was leave. I needed to outsmart the hunter. Show him the prey he stalked was far more dangerous than he ever anticipated.”

* * *

Liz shifted, unsure of what to say. He was being _honest_ and for the first time in their relationship she was the one who wasn’t. She wasn’t lying, but she wasn’t being truthful. Amazing how the roles were reversed.

She placed the pillow back against on the couch and rose. She hovered over him, watched him, saying nothing. His blue eyes stayed on her, cautious, worried, anxious. Widening her stance, she straightened her shoulders, preparing herself.

“Did you love me?” she paused, glancing down. Sucking in a new breath, she met his eyes. “I mean…did you _love_ me?”

* * *

Either she was playing games with him or she didn’t understand.

“Elizabeth, I…” a single tear crept down his cheek. “I loved you long before then and I love you even now. You do not know the pain I have endured being kept at arm’s length these past few months.”

* * *

The words she needed to hear. The words she’d never heard escape his mouth, but always saw behind those telling eyes. She bent down and crawled into his lap. She wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her jacket, caressing the path they’d taken with the pad of her thumb.

“That night, meant more than you know.” She smiled, lying down on his shoulder. She could feel his heart beating out of his chest. She could see the sweat pricking up on the skin of his neck.

* * *

His arms wrapped around her slender waist, caressing her lower back. Slowly, he massaged his way up to her head, where he lovingly stroked her hair. It all felt so right, so perfect. He didn’t deserve this love but somehow, it found him. Somehow she was able to look beyond his flaws and see something precious.

“Tell me Lizzy, why? I can’t offer you the peaceful life you want…why should I mean anything to you other than a business associate?” He hated how vulnerable he was, that he was letting this side of him show.

* * *

“I’ve learned that I have no control over the way I feel about you Red.” She leaned back into his hand, her headache slowly fading with every meticulous move of his strong fingers.

“From the first day I met you, I should have been scared. I should have been horrified…” she groaned when he reached a certain spot behind her right ear. “When you did horrible things, I should have hated you, hated everything you infected.” She leaned in to kiss his temple, continuing down his jawline with each word.

“But I’m powerless. I’m hopelessly in love with the man I know you are. The man you won’t let others see.” She stopped just short of his lips, his eyes still watching her cautiously. “But you let me see and for that, I’m forever grateful.” She kissed him, slowly, as if learning all over again. Timid and sweet. Innocent and pure.

“Grateful to know _you_ , Raymond Reddington, and everything you can be.”


	3. Honesty is the Best Policy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW

Shit. He was cussing at his own body as an erection began to form. Delicately as possible, he shifted his hips so she wasn’t pressed so closely to tender bits.

“Elizabeth, we can’t do this now.” It was a struggle getting those words out. His mouth greedily reached to hers once more. “I don’t want to repeat our previous mistake. Please, not now. It’s not the right time.” He pulled away, carefully brushing back her wild brown hair, to stare into eyes deep as the sea. He tucked a loose hair behind her ear and ran two fingers lightly down her neck.

They needed to get back to the case at hand and the last thing Reddington wanted to do was to ruin the fragile bridge of trust they had just rebuilt.

* * *

“It’s amazing what honesty can do for you,” she teased running her hand across his thigh. She kissed him back, not letting his lips leave. “You better pull yourself together, wouldn’t want Dembe to get the wrong idea.”

With that, she was up and off. She reached for the case file Dembe so carefully placed on the counter and picked up Red’s forgotten drink, downing it in one swallow.

“Let’s get to work, we have a family to interview.” She smiled tauntingly her eyes still heavy with innuendo and unsatisfied needs.

* * *

Suddenly, Red found himself out of the chair, wrapped around Liz. He nestled his face into her neck and wrestled the file from her hands. The documents fell to the floor scattering everywhere.

“Lizzy…do you really want to do this now? Are we really prepared for this?” he breathlessly whispered into her ear, nibbling gently at the lobe.

* * *

"And I had _just_ organized that…” she mumbled into his neck, laughing as his hands moved up her waist to that ticklish spot beneath her ribs. “The hard part’s over already isn’t it?”

She pulled herself onto the counter and wrapped her legs around his waist. Moving his head closer, she poured her hair around them until they were hidden under her veil, their own secret escape.

“I’m not looking for a fairytale Raymond. I don’t need a white knight to sweep me off my feet, I just need you.”

* * *

A growl stuck in his throat. Those were the only words he needed to hear. He made quick work removing her jacket, sprawling it out on the counter behind her. He slid his hand under her blouse, fondling firm breasts hiding behind a silky bra.

* * *

She loved when he growled, it got her exactly where she needed to be. Her hands dug up his shoulders, pushing off his jacket and moving down to unbutton his vest.

* * *

He grabbed her waist, sliding both hands underneath her blouse. He planted kisses all along her stomach, all the way to her chest, taking short detour to nibble her neck. He flung the shirt off her, pressing his lips hard into hers.

* * *

“Bedroom,” she commanded. “Don’t need Dembe caught off guard if he comes back in.” She was completely breathless and yet somehow still in control.

She tugged at his shirt collar to pull his head back up from its exploration. She needed to know he understood her message. He was a bit in over his head.

* * *

“As you wish Lizzy. Hold on.” He slid his hands behind her back and lifted her from the counter, with her still wrapped tightly around his waist. It was a precarious walk to the bedroom. He stumbled a few times, pinning her against the wall to readjust, though the moans that erupted from her signaled to him that she didn’t mind. She seemed to be enjoying it actually.

With a hip check, Red forced the bedroom door open and they fell onto the bed a tangled mess. He hovered on all four over Liz, breathing heavily. He ran the backs of his fingers across her face, and slowly teased a trail down the length of her body.

* * *

She was motionless, staring up at him. He’d never looked so beautiful, so powerful, so in love. And he was looking at her. Those eyes were for her.

She locked her legs around his waist, turning him over in an almost wrestling fashion, and pinned him to the bed. She tugged at her bra, snapping the clasps, and discarded it to the floor. Leaning down, her hair washed into an angry mess of brown waves over him. Her lips pressed hot and wet against his ear.

“You’re mine,” she growled.  

* * *

She looked at him hungrily. He reached a hand to touch a bare breast hanging over him, but a hand shot out and pinned it by his side. A wicked smirk came across Liz’s face.

He was still fully clothed, a fact he was becoming painfully aware of the more she teased him. The zipper of his pants now digging into a throbbing cock. His face betrayed him…

* * *

She shook her head carefully and slowly, her eyes never leaving his as she slid down his body, hands still pinning his wrists at his sides. She looked the bulge of his pants impatiently.

“Now if I let you go, you have to promise not to move. Trust, Raymond.”

* * *

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and chills slithered across his body. He simply moaned in response. He could make no promises he wouldn’t move but he trusted her more than she knew.

With a gentle thrust, he pushed his groin towards her. He hoped that was answer enough.

* * *

Next time, she’d have to prepare, have to tie him down to ensure he was stationary, but for now she needed her hands. She pulled his pants loose and ripped off his belt, the leather snapping the air. She ran the tip of her nose quickly up the outline of his shaft before helping to remove his pants.

* * *

Red wasn’t sure what drove him wilder…the cracking sound of the leather or that delectable tease she was currently doing while removing his garments.

“Lizzy…please…” he wanted her, he needed her. Her desire was intoxicating and he wanted nothing more than the meld into her. Two bodies writhing in ecstasy.

* * *

Just as she shifted to remove her own pants, she heard the last thing in the world she wanted to hear, _her phone_. Her first thought was to ignore it. Just ignore it. Red was. His head was still thrown back in pleasure. He needed a release.

She reached for the distraction that had fallen carelessly from her back pocket in today’s escapades. _Ressler_. Dammit. She was on the clock. She couldn’t risk missing an important lead or time sensitive piece of information. She answered the phone.

“Ressler,” she said as normal as she could. Red’s head snapped up, eyes wild with concern and then confusion, until he saw the phone balanced between her ear and shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m on my way now, meeting with Reddington took longer than expected.” She pulled his underwear so he was completely exposed. He was needy, bigger than she remembered.

“No, it’s fine. Yeah we can… No tell Aram to run the trace on the Holden’s not the McClusky’s.” Liz flashed Red one more devious look before taking him in her mouth.

* * *

He had to stifle a moan, and the desire to call out her name, as she sucked and swirled her way around his cock. How could she maintain a conversation on the phone and still do _that_ with her tongue? His mind swirled at the future possibilities…he had the perfect hotel picked out, with large windows. Liz’s naked body pressed against the glass, him thrusting from behind…

A tension in his lower abdomen warned him of how close he was to release. _Not now._ He willed himself to hang on. For how much longer, he didn’t know, but he would not succumb just yet.

“Lizzzzzy….” he softly hissed through clenched teeth. _Damn._ He hope Donald hadn’t overheard. He began to thrust his hips, his body aching for something more.

* * *

“Yeah go ahead and meet us there,” the only time she came up for air was when Ressler required further dialogue. She loved the look on Red’s face, she’d never seen anything like it, and she reveled in her accomplishment.

“Yes, I’m bringing _him_.” She hissed the last word only to take him deeper. She could feel him press against the back of her throat. He hissed so loud she could have sworn Ressler heard, but if he did, he ignored it.

“Okay, out back. Yeah…” Her hands ran up and down the outside of Red’s upper thighs, teasing relentless.

“I don’t know about that.” She actually laughed, at a time like _this_. Her hair was a wreck and her eyes were sparkling. She could get used to this work and play.

* * *

His whole body convulsed at her soft touch on his thighs. In an attempt to quiet the movements, he grabbed her hips and dug his fingers into the flesh there. Liz ran her fingers through her hair and Red basked in her glare.

“Please Elizabeth.” he mouthed the words, holding back another moan as she suckled on the skin of his inner thighs.

* * *

“Ress, I swear. Yes.” She climbed up his body, phone in one hand, cock in the other. She held the phone slightly away, close for her to hear Donald’s ramblings, but far enough for her lip locking with Red’s to go unnoticed by her partner.

“I love you,” she whispered into his mouth. “Let go, we can pick this up tonight.” She rubbed harder, faster, moving her lips to his jaw.

“Listen, I’ll pick something up. I skipped lunch too.” She continued to talk through everything, an amazing multi-tasker, and incredibly happy with her newfound control.

* * *

With those words, he closed his eyes, letting the rush of pleasure take control. He felt the hot fluid erupt, dripping down thighs red with teasing, onto sheets where it pooled and rapidly cooled.

A heavy, quivering breath burst from his mouth. His best attempt at hiding a moan from Donald, who was mere inches away from hearing him. He rolled his head sideways, desperate to bury his face, a feeble attempt to hide the burning flush creeping across his face.

* * *

"Uh-un” she shook her head, pulling his face towards hers. “I want to see you,” she moaned into his mouth.

“Keen? Keen?” They could both hear Ressler’s confused cries from the other end of the line. She smiled into Red’s mouth, coy. Quickly, Donald’s voice vanished. She ended the call.

“As much as I’d love to do that again, it seems we’ve got some work to do.” She placed a light kiss on the tip of his nose, the bridge, and up to the center of his forehead.

“That was hot as hell,” she winked and climbed off him starting to assemble their clothing.

* * *

Long eyelashes rapidly beat against each other as Red blankly stared at the ceiling. A pale pink tongue slowly slid across an upper lip and rolled to the corner of its mouth. He raised his arms above his head and sighed heavily. He watched the shadows of Liz getting dressed dance across the walls.

“That was one hell of a ride Lizzy.” After the past few months, and her coldness towards him even the past few days, he never thought they would be intimate like this so soon. He dared to let a smile break across his face.

And private a man as he is, it was weirdly erotic to have her sucking and rubbing him to climax while on the phone. He had a feeling there might be some more explorations of her exhibitionist tendencies soon.

“Could you please pass me my clothes? Much as I would rather remain nude, I’m not so sure the rest of the team is as appreciative as you of my naked form.”

* * *

She threw wrinkled trousers at his head with a ridiculous smile on her face. As he sat up to reassemble his ensemble, she leaned down and kissed him lovingly. The most unique and perfect kiss she could, her lips barely tracing his, cherishing his taste. Breaking the kiss, she placed the fallen belt in his right hand. Snapped it playfully.

“We may have to use this later…” she mumbled and danced out the door.


	4. Let's Give Them Something to Talk About

Liz stepped out of the car, bag of McDonald’s in hand, tossing the sack of grease to Ressler.

“This stuff is disgusting,” she had gotten him his usual. Big mac extra cheese. Red was appalled when she rattled off his regular order without pause.

 

 _What? We run around all over, we don’t all have time to eat on our private jet._ Liz had chastised Red on the way over. 

 

“Have you talked to the family yet?” Liz pulled her jacket straight approaching the large black SUV her partners had taken.

“Waited on you,” Ressler’s eyes cast over to Red with disapproval.

“What the hell took you so long? You left at least an hour before us.” Samar ended the call she was on and tucked her phone away. She wasn’t in a mood for play. Neither of them were. She’d never been late before, suddenly she felt guilty.

* * *

“Let’s go Liz. The family is waiting and my patience is thin.” Samar hastily strode towards the house. “And you two,” she quickly whipped around, pointing a finger at Ressler and Red, “Stay out here and try not to cause a scene. The last thing this family needs is more tough guys like you messing with the little peace they have left.”

Red caught Liz’s eyes as she followed after Samar. They both shared a momentary panicked look. Ressler walked closer to Red, his face bearing a distasteful look.

“Someone poured spoiled milk in Agent Navabi’s coffee this morning.” The corners of his mouth tilted downwards as he nodded his head. “I’d hate to be the person on the receiving end of her questions today. She looks like she’s ready to set fire to something.”

“You don’t seem to mind being on the receiving end of a little fire.” He crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “You and Keen got tied up for a while?”

“We had several matters we needed to discuss.” He was going to hide behind his shroud of mystery as long as possible.

“Ya we could hear that. Just tell me Reddington, the whole time?” Ressler’s voice cracked a bit at the end. Guess he did hear something after all.

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell Donald.” He cast a wicked smirk to the now obviously flustered man. He crossed his hands in front of him and waited for Liz and Samar to return.

* * *

Liz could feel tension radiating from Samar. She didn’t like seeing her friend this way, she just hoped she wasn’t the cause.

“Everything okay?” She asked cautiously as they approached the door. Samar simply responded with a quick glance before turning to knock on the door.

//

The talk with the family was quick, too quick, they were hiding something Liz could feel it. The women left the house and approached the boys who were uncomfortably far apart.

“They’re lying,” Liz called over to Donald. Red snapped his phone shut and turned to face the pair. “Something’s not setting right. I’m going to head over to the warehouse and check the crime scene one more time, maybe we missed something.”

Samar glared at Reddington and then placed a protective hand on Liz’s upper arm. She didn’t need to say anything, she already had with her silence. She stalked off back towards the SUV, leaving only Ressler, Red, and Liz to discuss their next plan of action.

* * *

“And you would be absolutely right. Have you looked more into the victim’s records? I think you might find something illuminating there.” Ressler and Liz looked at him wide eyed.

“We haven’t discussed what I know about the family. Don’t give me that look, Elizabeth, you haven’t asked the question yet. You know how our game works.” He cast a look at her over the tops of his sunglasses.

* * *

“Then what were…” Ressler started, but quickly finished. Liz blushed profusely, her newfound confidence was nowhere in sight, Red had her mortified. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Go check the warehouse. I’ll take Samar and follow up with the other families, probably nothing, but we need to cover all our bases.” Ressler glared at Red.

It didn’t matter if Liz and Ress had fixed thing since their escapades, he was still fuming with jealousy and Liz could feel it. Red really didn’t need to make a show of it. What was he trying to prove? And more importantly how was this car ride about to go?

* * *

He would pay tonight for that remark. But to see both Donald crawling in his own skin and that delicious blush creep across Lizzy’s face was more than worth the price of admission.

“Reprimand me later Lizzy. We have work to do.” He sauntered over to the car and opened the door for her. She rested her hands on the door and roof, giving him one final glare before bowing in. Red took his usual seat opposite Liz.

“Dembe, 5647 3rd St NE.” He buckled himself in before looking at Liz. She was furious with him.

“Tell me what about this family has you convinced they’re lying. What kind of profile did you build on the three of them?”

* * *

“Let’s just say they didn’t have the look of losing a child in their eye,” she stared off out the window.

She gave Dembe a quick look, his eyes were focused straight ahead, ever the professional. She slowly unbuckled her seatbelt and wiggled her way over to Red. She leaned her back into his body and tucked under his arm. The seatbelt was uncomfortable in her hip, but she didn’t mind. It hadn’t even been two hours yet and she was already desperate to be next to him again.

“They know something.” Liz continued, trying to act as casually as possible. “The kind of pain not knowing brings was nowhere on their faces, in their walk, the way spoke to each other. They know, good or bad, they know.”

* * *

He aimlessly thumbed her back, enjoying the close contact.

“Of course they know something. Serena and her brother, Michael, were quite the entrepreneurs. Hard not to notice the small fortune they made running the best cyber security service for some of the most notorious criminals.” He stopped when he realized he eyes were boring a hole into the side of his head.

“They didn’t mention the brother did they?”

* * *

“Don’t hold out on me Red. I have ways of making you talk.” She whispered harshly in his ear. She didn’t want to make Dembe too uncomfortable.

“No they didn’t mention a brother, nor was he present. Looks like we’re going to have to pay them another visit after this little detour.” Liz’s hand slid in between his legs and gingerly stroked the inside of his thigh. Her eyes were still locked on the window watching the city streets fly by as they began to enter the harbor.

* * *

His shoulder twitched towards his ear in response to her taunt.

“The brother was the one who started the business. He pulled his sister in when she stumbled upon his work and he found out she was as skilled, if not more so than him.” he bobbed his head up and down trying to get a better look at the oncoming buildings on the street.

“He disappeared last year. The official report will tell you that he died in a car fire after they found his Corvette wrapped around a telephone pole. That the remains were too charred for any kind of conclusive analysis. My contact’s report tells a different tale. There were plenty of clues that should have ruled the body out as Michael’s.” He rolled his tongue across his teeth. He looked down at Liz, enjoying the fact that she was curled up close.

* * *

They finally arrived at the crime scene, the shutdown warehouse. It was nearly burnt to a crisp, so naturally the evidence team didn’t find much. It was the last known location for Otto’s kidnapping/organ harvesting ring and so far their only major lead. The FBI was lucky to connect it back to Otto in the first place, but that’s where the luck stopped.

“There has to be something we missed,” Liz pushed through the charred entrance and carefully maneuvered the wasteland inside the building. The iron and steel moaned, threatening to give at any moment. The techs warned them of the building’s instability, but she was desperate to find some shred of evidence that could lead her back to this horrid monster.

* * *

He stood at the crumbled entrance to the building.

“Lizzy, I don’t think this to be a prudent decision. The techs have already scoured every inch and the building is ready to collapse at any moment.” He stared into the darkness. The only sound returned was the crunching and squealing of metal and stone.

* * *

“Thanks for the concern,” sarcasm sprayed like venom.

Bending down she ripped through sheets of forgotten metal and layers of soot. She walked around the outside of the building, avoiding the treacherous middle where the ceiling literally looked like it was holding gallons of water.

She pushed a beam out of her way, heaving her shoulder to get it to move. Before she could stop, something from above, that had obviously been balanced on this single obstacle, began to creek and fall.

She dove forward, feeling all sorts of glass and metal scrape her exposed skin. She kept her arms firm in a box around her head, neck tucked, as her legs flailed into more debris. The steel beam fell with a thud that was immediately followed by a panicked “Lizzy!”

* * *

His eyes flew wide open at the sound. “Dembe!” The man grabbed two of the remaining techs and they bolted towards Red. He removed his overcoat and hat, rolled his sleeves up and prepared to jump into the wreckage after her.

“Raymond you can’t!” Red shot him a look so ferocious, he visibly saw the man jump.

“I will not lose her.” He rolled up his sleeves and ducked under beams and twisted metal scrap. Something sharp sliced his cheek under the next pile. He touched fingers to the wound, staring at brilliant crimson blood. I’m being careless. With a deep breath, he slowed down and found the freshly formed heap of garbage. Glass sparkled and glittered in the early afternoon sun.

“Lizzy…Elizabeth, are you alright? Please tell me you are alright…” metal groaned once more threatening to bury him as well.

* * *

Liz was standing calmly behind the wreckage, closer to the back wall than she was sure any of the techs had explored.

“Maybe I should be asking you that question,” Liz’s voice was firm with the slightest bit of concern. She saw Dembe wasn’t too far behind, she trusted him to find his way out. She kept moving towards the back wall, a shadowy box catching her eye.

“Remember what I told you Red about being a white knight,” she called over her shoulder. Her voice echoed around the metal hall. “I don’t need saving,” she popped open the box, cutting her hand in the process.

The box opened to reveal a somewhat still-intact set of walkie-talkies. One was damaged nearly beyond repair, she was sure, but the other had some hope. She knew Aram could work wonders with it like he usually did. This was the lead she was looking for. Well worth the scrapes and bruises she would attend to later.

* * *

“Just because you don’t want or need me to save you does not excuse your choice to throw all caution to the wind.” She was going to be the death of him. This newfound boldness of hers needed to be tempered before it killed either of them.

“Did you find anything?” Like maybe a way out of this mess. He peered around trying to find the best way to get out of his current hole. Back the way he came was becoming less of an option as debris continued to roll down.

* * *

“Live on the dangerous side Reddington,” she teased. “It’s more…” her words lingered, “ _fun_.” Before he could respond to her bold tease in front of everyone, she came barreling through a stack of debris only nearly missing a pool of glass inches from her hands.

She saw him cornered in the wake of her destruction. The irony of their situation was not lost on her. She flipped the hair out of her face, peeling of the sweaty strands pinned to her temple away, and looked at the man in distress.

“Need a hand?” A sly smirk filled her face. It was good to have him back.

* * *

“You need to be more careful Lizzy.“ He glared at her. After all these years, why she insisted upon ignoring his words and finding out things the hard way baffled him. “I won’t stomp out the fire of your new-found independence but please, don’t mistake recklessness for boldness.” His tone was firm and forceful. Words he was certain she didn’t want to here but he would be damned if they went unsaid.

He reached a hand towards her, a wordless signal to her that he was indeed need of help.

* * *

She reached for his hand and hoisted him through scattered debris towards her. At least if they were in the same area they could find a way out together. He came tumbling towards her, whatever smooth grace he had was lost, his leg was clearly injured.

“Stop, don’t put pressure on it. I’ve got you.” She pulled him in close to her body and lifted his arm over her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled against his cheek hoping a kiss would distract him from the pain he was evidently in.

* * *

Apparently he had hurt his ankle worse than he previously thought. It had been a dull throbbing only moments ago.

“I don’t have much of a choice Lizzy. Listen to the sounds around you. if we don’t move now, we’re not leaving.” An uncomfortable wince spread across his face as he forced weight on it. He felt Liz weave their arms together in a supportive embrace in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure.

His eyes flicked rapidly, trying to find the best way out. Red squinted through the dust and debris, trying to find some easy route. Hazy blue eyes settled on a staircase with was appeared to be the orange glow of an evening sunset.

“Over there.” He nodded his head and the two moved in sync over the twisted hunks of metal, charred bricks and smoldering remains of whatever organic materials had been growing on the roof. Splintered bits of glass and sheet metal cut at the both of them all along the way.

The staircase proved a clear way out of the mess. With a final groan, the building gave way and Liz threw Red the rest of the way out.

* * *

Seconds later Liz emerged from the crumbling wreckage landing right beside him. She rolled over to look at him, inspect his cuts, his injuries. She’d never seen him so reckless and it showed on his body. He looked in no mood to talk. No more apologies needed to be made. The sun was setting and the day was drawing to an end. They’d have to talk to the family again in the morning. Ressler was probably waiting for a status report.

“I’ve got an idea,” she rolled into his arm. Both of them were still too breathless to get up and move.

“How about we do date night? Tom doesn’t drop Agnes off until the morning and I’m starving.” She straightened his destroyed beyond repair vest as casually as if they were lying on a picnic blanket beneath a setting sun.

“You could make that garlic chicken dish we had on the run, or we could pick up some Chinese food on the way back.” She paused.

“Or maybe if you’re up to it, we could even get fixed up and do it properly for once.” She smiled at the idea of Red taking her out, thinking back to their first night undercover. “I’ll even pretend I’m your girlfriend from Ann Arbor this time."


	5. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW

He rested his arm on his leg as Lizzy carefully cleaned and bandaged cuts. Her fingers so delicately brushed against his skin, being careful of purpling bruises and still exposed scrapes. It took a great deal of convincing Liz he needn’t go to the hospital, that he had enough supplies at one of his safe houses to tend to the wounds. It was oddly erotic watching the ways her fingers twisted and turned around his forearm.

“Lizzy, what do you say we stay in tonight? Enjoy some dinner and romance by candlelight, prepare a meal together? Your cooking needs some work from what I recall…” Baz had told Red about the incident in the first apartment she got after being exonerated.

* * *

“Candlelight and romance? Aren’t you quite the romantic Raymond Reddington.” She wasn’t sure if that was a slight at her cooking skills, but either way she wasn’t amused. He was pretty banged up. She winced for him every time she skimmed a cut accidently.

She watched his eyes watching her. Tracing up and down her body carefully. Another tool in his arsenal. Liz always knew her way around a first aid kit, she’d dressed many of her own wounds, so her mind could afford to be other places. It was a shame about his suit being so torn up. It was one of her favorites.

* * *

“I know you wanted to go out on the town, but I think the warehouse had other plans for us.” She taped off the last bit of the rolled gauze and carefully pulled back the rolled sleeve cuff.

“I sent Dembe out for groceries. Still want that roasted garlic chicken?”

* * *

“Only if you’re cooking, I’d actually like to have an edible meal tonight.” She put the first aid supplies back in their place and closed up the box.

“There, done. How does it feel? Can you move?” She checked his taped ankle and forearm. She needed those ligaments to be mobile or else she wouldn’t hear the end of it.

* * *

He flexed his arm back and forth a few times, making sure the bandages didn’t pull at anything. When he was certain it was all set, he tried to put some weight on the ankle. It still throbbed but at least now he could feel it was supported.

“You’re cooking with me Lizzy. No reason you can’t learn how to cook something as simple as this. I promise, I’ll be right by your side.” He flashed her one of his best smiles.

* * *

Liz sighed. She was horribly tired. Maybe she could distract him out of a meal. She moved off the coffee table and into the floor on her knees. She gripped his waist and moved her head into his chest.

“Red I’m exhausted, I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be cooking.” She looked up into his eyes from below, “Even with your… constant supervision.” She couldn’t help but smile. He made it too easy with the blushing.

* * *

“You’re not getting out of this one Elizabeth.” He said, lifting her chin until their eyes met. “Trust me, you’ll love what I have planned for us this evening.” This morning, he would’ve bet that he would be the one at her mercy tonight. But her guilt over what happened this evening had turned into a very physical need from her. He would enjoy every minute of it.

His phone softly buzzed in his pocket. Dembe must be here. “I can’t get to my pocket with you sitting like that, care to grab it for me?” The corner of his mouth quirked upwards.

* * *

She groaned even louder.

“I’ll just let him,” she was in no mood to play. Exhausted, still beat up, and extremely guilty, she trudged to the door. Dembe was standing a ways down the hall with an arm full of groceries.

“Don’t just stand there Dembe, come in.” She cleared off the counter to make room for the groceries. Still groaning, she washed her hands ready to deal with the chicken.

* * *

“I’ll be taking my leave Elizabeth. Next time.” Dembe kissed her on the cheek and closed the door behind him.

Red had stood and was slowly walking towards the kitchen. He slid arms around Liz’s waist and nestled his face into her neck. “Preheat the oven first. 425*” He could feel her body reaching. He grabbed her hands in his own and walked her through each step, never breaking the close contact.

* * *

“I know how to preheat an oven,” she mumbled. It didn’t matter how hard she fought, she was going to be putty in his hands tonight and she knew it. Her confident in control self was turning over in her grave, but tonight she was just too tired. She leaned back into him, letting his firm grasp support some of her weight.

* * *

“Don’t need you burning down the house tonight.” he chuckled.

He guided her hands through the whole process until their food was cooking away, the smell of warm spices filling the small living space as the chicken roasted in the stove. The crackle of the chickens skin melded with the soft simmering of water as vegetables steamed on the cook top.

He spun her around, leaning her against the counter, resting his palms on the counter’s edge.

“Good cooking Lizzy. Smells delicious.” he was careful to let his tongue linger at the corner of his mouth a moment.

* * *

When they sat down to eat, she was oddly quiet. Maybe it was the nerves of their first _real_ date or the fact that she really didn’t know how to have casual conversation with Reddington.

She rubbed at her scar unconsciously in between bites. Honestly she was too tired to even taste the food. But she assumed it was okay since there was a smile on his face and no vomit on the floor. Really the highest cooking goals she could aspire to.

* * *

He caught her massaging her wrist, something she only did when she was uncomfortable.

“Something troubling you Lizzy?” He scraped his teeth along the fork as he took another bite of food.

* * *

She pushed the food around her plate. She stayed silent. She couldn’t even meet his eyes anymore after that thing with the fork he just did.

_Dammit Liz get it together._

Before she knew it, Red was hovering over her, no longer on his side of the table. She couldn’t help but stare at the part of him that was directly in front of her.

* * *

He gently ran his fingers through her hair, feeling the silky strands flowing across his hand. He was imagining that hair splayed across the bed, her head rolled back in the throes of pleasure.

He extended his hand. A simple gesture they both understood. No words needed, just a call to follow. Sparks shot through him when her fingers pulled against his palm.

* * *

The back of his shoulders in that suit drove her insane. And being led by the hand down a dark hallway to a candlelit bedroom? Even worse. He was absolutely Mr. Romantic tonight.

She couldn’t wait to lounge on his chest and hear him breathing. To laugh and listen to his extravagant stories. Rolling around in the sheets finding all his ticklish spots. She was ready to fall stupidly head-over-heels in love with this man.

* * *

He held her hands to his shoulders as he spun her around, as if they were dancing. He gently laid her down on the bed, hovering over her a moment before pressing his lips against hers. All he wanted was to feel her against him…to know that she was there and she wasn’t going anywhere.

His kissing became more desperate and he could feel her hands pressing against his chest.

* * *

She pulled his head towards her’s until his body was pressed firmly against hers. She was happy that his outfit was already ruining. It made this next part easier.

In one swift motion she ripped his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. One actually poked her right in the eye, causing her to wince and giggle uncontrollably. How quickly the mighty have fallen. Wherever he sexy confident in control side went she was hoping it’d double time it back.

* * *

“Come here.” He thumbed around her eye, relaxing the tense muscles, watching the smile grow on her face. He walked fingers down her neck, enjoying the little bumps that formed from the tickling.

He made figure-eights just above her waistband. His fingers made quick work of the button and zipper. Scooping her ass up a little, he wriggled the pants down to her knees.

His fingers quickly found her clitoris, massaging it gently. He loved watching her squirm underneath his touch.

* * *

“Shit,” her hot breath hissed.

She lunged at his pants, struggling with the buckle as Red continued a slow torture. Eyes rolled back and her hands fell limp at her side. Her hips tipped forward, grinding against his hand, helping him find the perfect angle.

“There,” she moaned crunching forward, shoulders hovering off the bed. She leaned her head forward against the top of Red’s short cropped hair, digging into his scalp softly with her teeth. She was hopeless.

* * *

He thrust one finger in, then two, swirling them around. She was already dripping wet and her body was begging for more. Removing his hand, he licked her fluid from his fingers before working his own pants free from his body. She was pouting at him, obviously upset he had stopped working on her now very tender genitals.

“What do you want Lizzy? You and I? Me in you?” He punctuated each word, inching closer to her face at the syllable.

* * *

His tongue curled over her name and to the corner of his mouth. She kissed him fervently, that mouth of his was too perfect. And that tongue was too sinful. All she could do was groan, her head still in another galaxy. Where were a set of handcuffs when you needed them? She massaged his scalp, stroking his temples with her thumbs while her feet wrapped around his ass.

* * *

Feeling her feet digging into him and watching her roll her hips upwards was the only answer he needed. Grabbing the head of his cock, he guided it into her vagina. She was thoroughly ready. A few gentle thrusts and she fully engulfed him.

He rocked back and forth, settling into a rhythm that both their bodies synced into. A moan rumbled in the back of his throat.

* * *

Her legs quivered. Calves twitched. Nails dug. Feet flexed. She needed this more than she realized. Maybe if they hadn’t been interrupted earlier they could have skipped all the heroic escapades of the day. The tension melted out of her shoulders as she entered the plateau stage. She watched his face, reading his rhythms, trying to stay keep up with him.

“Red,” she whispered. His eyes were still screwed shut, he was close.

“Raymond,” she tried one more time. The intimacy of his first name summoned his eyes forward, locking with her’s. They were desperate, needy, horribly tender and vulnerable. She smiled. All she could do was smile. She pressed her lips to his, her tongue tracing the inside of his lip.

“I love you,” she groaned into his mouth.

* * *

He loved her so much. Every inch of her, the physical, the emotional… everything that could and could not be seen. Her calling his name, telling her she loved him. It was more than he could bear.

His breath hitched as he arched backward, cumming inside Liz. A shudder rippled through his body and with one more twitch of his cock, the last of its contents spilled on her thigh.

“Lizzy,” he rubbed his cheek against her exposed stomach. With a heavy sigh, he rolled from his perch above her to lay beside her. He curled himself around her, snuggling into her shoulder.

“I will always be here for you Lizzy,” he muttered. “I need you to be here for me” he was feeling very emotional right now. She had a wicked way of pulling out every emotion from him.

* * *

“Red…”

His tired grumble alerted her to his quick and sleepy demise. After everything in the past twenty four hours she couldn’t help but feel guilty. This man trusted her, literally wrapped himself around her, knowing she’d keep him safe. And here she was holding back a truth that could change everything. Change their dynamic forever. She had told Aram and yet still she hadn’t found the courage to murmur a syllable, until now.

“Red there’s something I need to tell you.” Her voice was laced with concern. Pure fear. As much as she’d like to swim and drown in this moment, she couldn’t let their poisonous past of secrets and half truths creep back in.

* * *

He pointed his chin upwards, opening his eyes to give Liz his full attention. He didn’t like the tone of her voice, how broken it sounded. He propped himself up on his elbow, looking at her with great concern.

“What’s the matter?”

* * *

“Do you remember a few weeks ago when you watched Agnes for a bit at the Post Office?” She watched his eyes carefully. He nodded and tilted his head, clearly still confused.

“There was something about the way you smiled at each other. Her hair was so blond, so unlike mine. Her eyes…” She muttered off the last sentence getting lost in the memory herself.

“I had a test done.” She ripped the bandaid off. Clear. Hard. It stuck and stung already. His face was cautious, he wasn’t jumping to conclusions just yet, or maybe he was too in shock to believe it.

* * *

He wasn’t sure where she was going with this. It was nagging at him.

_Why is she bringing up Agnes after we ju-_

The fog cleared.

“What kind of _test_ are we talking about?” The question was more rhetorical than anything. Even in his sex addled brain, he cold connect the dots.

“Agnes?” He remembered the moment she was talking about. The sweet child calmed right down in his arms.

* * *

“The night in the theater…” Her eyes darted anywhere but his.

_Hell why was this so hard?_

“I guess I was just afraid how you’d react, if you’d want the responsibility. I know your past with family has been… tough to say the least.” She began to ramble. Her thoughts spiraled, all her fears spilling in one large gushing confession.

“Tom loves her, I know, but maybe she needs something more. I know paternity isn’t everything, hell, being a father is more than just title for winning a race.” She shook her head, shifted, and sat up. Slinging her feet over the side of the bed, she rested her hands on her knees.

“But that’s not my decision to make alone. This is our decision now. I just thought maybe you should know before tomorrow morning…” She turned quickly, folding her knee in, her eyes pleading. She begged him not to run. Not to be angry with her lies. Not to ask the questions that could burrow into his soul and eat at their stability.

* * *

“Lizzy, I’ve told you before, I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to leave then you need to tell me. I have always done as you wish.” he was now sitting behind her on the bed, massaging her back gently as he could.

“If you want me there for you and for Agnes, you need only ask.” He pressed his cheek against her shoulder. He was exhausted from the day. His ankle was was throbbing from antics he probably should not have engaged in.

“Can we discuss this further tomorrow when we both are rested?” He wondered if much of her erratic behaviors had been due to some long-held guilt at keeping this a secret.

* * *

She nodded and silently turned off the lights. Red collapsed back into the bed, arm raised casually above his head in exhaustion.

She slid back under the covers using his chest as a perfect pillow. His heart thumped hard and fast despite his seemingly calm demeanor. Her hands tickled through his smattering of chest hair, stroking calmly.

“You’re not mad?” The darkness swallowed her question until she sounded like the nothing more than a whisper on the wind.

* * *

“No Lizzy, I’m not mad. I gave you an out when you first told me of your pregnancy. You took it.” he swallowed hard.

“You know more intimately than most the kind of life I lead. The dangers associated with it. I wondered then if she was mine, but I would not claim her if your freedom was what you truly desired.” he smiled softly in the darkness.

* * *

She didn’t know why. She couldn’t explain it. But part of her, _some deep dark part of her_ , wanted him to be upset. _Needed_ him to spring up from the bed in a rage. That part clawed at her subconscious and knocked on the door of her own hotel heart.

_We have to get her this instant_

Was what she hoped he would say.

She didn’t want a way out. She wanted him demanding a way in. A way to be with _his daughter_. Her own dark past and abandoned scratched soul bubbled to the surface of her thoughts until sleep washed over her like a silent tide. Drowning. Gasping. It was useless to fight it.

Her dreams were madness. Fire. Blue eyes. Soft hands.


	6. A Walk In The Park

A soft light barely broke through the blinds of Red’s safe house when she began to stir. It was still early morning, everything soft with sleep and dew. The birds were groggily singing their song at half volume. Her eyes stayed open, her body frozen.

Red was wrapped around her like a Chinese gymnast. One leg hoisted across her hips possessively while one muscular arm hung dead across her middle. They were sharing a pillow now, his head right next to her’s, breathing calmer than she’d ever seen before. He was so peaceful. So perfect. She could see the young man in him again, idyllic with sleep, the weight of the world off his shoulders.

That’s when she knew she had to go. It was her turn to sneak away. She didn’t need him feeling pressured or worried about Agnes when he stirred. She wasn’t going to let the conversation of last night, _or the lack thereof_ , eat her alive. Not this time.

Tom had an early day with Scottie and she didn’t need to be the parent running late. She was always late. Removing one arm carefully, she turned and kissed the tip of his nose. She slid out from under his heavy leg and tip toed carefully to the kitchen, picking up clothes along the way.

Hopping ungracefully into her jeans, she attempted to put herself into a presentable fashion. Tom had been understanding of her recent frame of mind, taking Agnes more than usual, not giving Liz shit for it either. He was really coming into his own with his new job. It was good for him. But he still didn’t know about the test. No one did except for Aram and now, Red. Though part of her still didn’t believe it really sank in yet with him.

Before she could make her get away she stopped, fingers lightly gripping the door knob. With one last look at his peaceful face, she grabbed a pad of paper and began to scribble out a message, hoping he wouldn’t get the wrong idea when he finally woke.

* * *

Long eyelashes slowly peeled apart, revealing dull blue eyes. He woke up far colder, and more alone, than he had fallen asleep. With a soft sigh, he rolled onto his back, resting his arm across his forehead.

Yesterday weighed heavily on his body: cuts and bruises ached and his ankle was throbbing. Even worse than the physical pain was the thoughts of Liz currently dancing around his still groggy mind.

_I shouldn’t have done that…too soon._

He slid his arm so a rough hand could massage tired eyes. He truly felt terrible for sleeping with her last night, especially knowing how guilty she felt over his injuries.

And Agnes. That was a piece of news he wasn’t expecting to be tacked on to an already outrageous day. The news itself didn’t surprise him. What did was how and when she told him, not to mention how matter-of-fact and indifferent he had been towards her. He uncovered his eyes and caressed the empty space next to him on the bed.

//

It was a long walk from the bedroom to the bathroom and every muscle screamed in agony. He peeled off layers of gauze and stared at the mess underneath. A hiss escaped his lips as he cleaned the wounds with cold water. After splashing his face and patting it dry, he stared long and hard at himself in the mirror. Popping a few pills for the pain, he went to make himself a much needed pot of coffee.

Along the way, he was distracted by a neatly folded note tucked under a mug.

* * *

_Red,_

_Went to get Agnes. Come meet us at the playground, maybe we can get ice cream in the park?_

_Don’t overthink this._

_I love you,_

_Lizzy xx_

* * *

He thrust his lower jaw out and bit his upper lip. _Lizzy._

Together they were a chaotic mess, seemingly incapable of communicating outside fervent sex and morning after notes. He placed the note back on the counter and set the machine to brew.

8:23 AM

Bright green LEDs illuminated the time on the stove. He had no idea when they would go to the park, but he would have Dembe find out while he was occupied with business. He needed to make a few calls about Michael and Serena Holden.

* * *

When she looked into her daughter’s eyes she saw the world. She saw everything she wanted to be. Everything she _could_ be. The smile of trust and soft bubbling laughter was enough to send Liz into tears. Agnes reached up to Liz’s face with chubby, tiny fingers limply raking off tears. More concern in her small eyes than she could have ever thought possible. She must be imagining things, there’s no way a child her age could understand something like this.

The park was beautiful this early in the morning. The 10am light had the birds fully awake and singing a song Liz now recognized. She was finding herself slowly reintegrating into society, taking in the simple pleasures of a forgotten life. A life before the Task Force. Before Red.

The sun beating down gently on Liz’s face was warm enough for her to consider taking off her peacoat and scarf. Agnes was nestled in a blue knit beanie Aram bought and she looked cuter than ever. Looking at Agnes now, all she could see was Red.

It was in the eyes, the expressions, the soft blonde hair, even the laugh. Oh the laugh. She needed more of that. She poked at Aggie’s cheeks causing her to release a squeal of happiness that harmonized perfectly with Liz’s now ringing cell phone. Shifting Agnes to one arm she easily reached for her phone, ever the modern working mother.

“Keen,” she barked.

“No I have Agnes today,” Cooper’s tone switched from urgency to understanding. Delighted she was spending more time with her child, he quickly let her go and promised to keep her abreast of any breaking updates in the case.

For the moment, she had the morning off. She was going to have to work faster than ever to find a babysitter for her daughter before work caught up with her. She was sure Reddington had a short list of possible candidates already worked out.

Red.

_What if he doesn’t show?_

* * *

With a few quick calls, all the players had been put into motion. Something was nagging him about this family and the circumstances surrounding both the brother and sister. It was a matter of time until his contacts got back to him with their information. But he couldn’t concern himself with thoughts of this case now, he had far more important personal matters to attend to.

//

He exited the car and swiped his hat upon his head, beginning his search for Liz and Agnes among the bustling park. It was a brisk mid-Spring day and though there was a chill in the shade, the warmth of the sun was promising. He adjusted his scarf as he strode towards a familiar brunette dressed elegantly in a navy peacoat. He silently sat next to her, crossing his legs and slyly putting an arm behind her.

He looked at the small bundle in her arms. How fingers so small wrapped around the tip of their mother’s finger. Of the tender smile that graced an innocent face.

“Shall we talk Lizzy?” the corner of his mouth delicately quirked upwards at the question.

* * *

It took her a second to realize the strange person that so intimately put their arm around her was Red. She’d recognize that arm from a mile away. Especially recently.

“Jumping right in, huh? How was your morning?” She tucked Agnes’ shirt a little higher, protecting the child’s neck.

Her eyes still hadn’t met his. She was afraid of what she would find. She needed to play it cool, focus on the conversation she’d rehearsed in her head all morning. Get every line right. She was here to present an argument. To figure out not only what Agnes needed but what Red _wanted_.

* * *

“Not the roughest I’ve ever had but certainly not the warmest and most welcoming.” he stared at her hands as she gently stroked Agnes’ cheek. His eyes broke away from the baby to rest on Liz’s profile.

Though times had been exceptionally tough for her, motherhood had softened her expressions. Even through all the fire, the fury, the desire to broadcast a strong facade, he could see all the caring that lay inside. His heart burned with love for her, for the both of them.

“Though nothing is more precious than the sight of a mother and daughter. That is bound to brighten anyone’s day, no matter the turmoil they may be facing. How’s _our_ Agnes today?”

* * *

_Our._

Did he just say that? Did she really just hear that? The word sounded so sweet on his lips. So tender.

“We’ve had a very fun morning,” she curled the child closer to her face to get a better view. “Haven’t we Aggie?”

She leaned back into Red’s shoulder, resting her head against his neck, so that he could see the smile radiating from their child’s face.

“She looks like you,” Liz whispered.

* * *

He curled his arm the rest of the way around Liz and squeezed her arm lovingly. He reached a finger to gently poke Agnes’ chubby little cheeks.

“Poor thing having to live with looks like mine.” he shook his head and lightly chuckled, “At least I have many years before I have to worry about you being a heart breaker and having to threaten anyone who dares look your way.” the smile widened as he sighed in mock relief.

He looked around at everything and everyone around him: couples laughing, children playing, joggers, businessmen…ordinary people going about mundane lives.

_One day Lizzy, one day I will give you that. When all is said and done, I will give you that dream life you so desire…_

* * *

“Oh I bet you were quite the heart breaker back in the day,” Liz teased. “I can see it on the face of every woman from your past.”

Liz turned giving Red a devilish smile.

“The one that tamed Raymond Reddington,” she was triumphant, giving him a chaste kiss.

“And the one that stole his heart,” she motioned down to Agnes. She hoped she was reading him correctly.

* * *

“Sweetheart, you only think you’ve tamed me.” She was teasing him and asserting herself at the same time. A combination he found incredibly attractive in her.

“We make compromises for the ones we love and I know you need the satisfaction of having greater control than any before.” She had stolen his heart a long time ago, far longer than even she knew.

“You’re dancing around the question I posited earlier Elizabeth. We can’t avoid this discussion forever.” He knew she wanted to talk about Agnes and they really needed to discuss things between the two, no, three of them.

* * *

Liz’s smile dropped. She knew she should have avoided his eyes. She had already lost her focus.

_Get it together Elizabeth._

“Let’s walk,” she grabbed Agnes’ stroller. She was finally getting sleepy again. A lullaby walk would do the trick to zonk the little one right out. She pulled up the attached visor to protect her delicate skin from the still glistening sun.

“So have you given what I said last night any more thought?” Red was a step or two behind, still frozen in time, but soon enough his fedora was in the corner of her eye.

* * *

"As to whether or not I want to accept the role of being father to Agnes?” Last night he didn’t think it needed to be said, but it was growing more apparent by the minute that Liz needed to hear the words. She needed to wrap them around her like a warm blanket of comfort against a bitter world. He sped his pace up, to rest his hand atop hers on the stroller.

“I will be there, Lizzy, for the both of you. Forgive a jaded old man his moment of indiscretion. It was not my intention to sound so uninterested last night.” He rubbed the back of her hand, hoping she could feel his sincerity in that contact.

* * *

He was being oddly intimate and not just in a _quick fuck_ kind of way. He really meant it.

_That makes this next part so much harder,_ she thought. From his reaction last night, she thought surely they’d be on the same page. Not anymore.

“I think we need to talk about our…options.” She tried to phrase it as diplomatically as possible.

As much as it kills her, she’s had months and months to think and process it. After faking her own death, being without her daughter, having Agnes taken by Kirk…after so much danger, the only conclusion she came to was the original. This is no life for a child. Not just Red’s, but now her’s too.

* * *

“Obviously neither of us has an ideal career for raising Agnes but I have a very short list of associates who would be more than willing to help.” He could count on one hand the list of people outside him and Liz he trusted with the child.

“We can sit down and review them tonight if you like. I know you’ll want the final say on the matter.” Offering her that choice was the least he could do with everything they have endured. He gazed off into the distance, wondering what it would be like to be a father again. To hold that fragile, loving body in his arms. A being so desperate and needing of care and attention.

* * *

“Red…” she trailed off, turning to face him. “I’m sure your associates are very capable, but I can’t risk this child growing up in our world. Not after what she’s already been through.”

She looked down screwing her eyes closed for courage.

Deep breath in.

Out.

Ready.

Set.

_Rip._

“I think we should consider adoption again.”

* * *

He stopped and grabbed her forearm.

“Adoption?” His brows furrowed and his mouth hung open in disbelief. “Not an option.” It was his turn to make her understand.

“Lizzy, where did you have the test done? If it was in any kind of hospital or clinic, you can bet those results have already been shared with the world. You might think only a handful of people are aware of the connection Agnes has but I can almost guarantee there is a line of people who have already painted a target on her.” He was utterly distraught. Protecting Liz from a distance had been hard enough, protecting Agnes would be even more difficult.

“There has to be another way. Please, consider looking at my people. I need to know she can be kept safe.” He closed his eyes and leaned towards her, no longer hiding the pain inside.

* * *

_Woah. No. No no no no no._

She saw his world crumble beneath his feet like her’s had when she first considered the idea. She wrapped her arms around him quickly, needing to physically shield him from those around. But it was her causing the damage. The pain.

“Hey,” she whispered. She couldn’t hide the mothering in her voice. Her hands wrapped around the base of his neck and held him tightly. This time she wasn’t clinging for dear life, or holding him out of possessiveness. She was a lioness on the prowl, intent on keeping her family safe.

“I know it’s _hard,_ ” her voice cracked. The rehearsal had been useless. Some performer she’d be.

“I mean, we just got her back. But we can’t be the parents she needs. She deserves better than me, Red. Better than _whatever_ we’re calling this thing between us.” She needed to see his eyes. They told her everything. There was a time in her life when she thought silence was his tell, now she can see right through to his soul in those stormy blue eyes of his.

* * *

He allowed his forehead to connect with hers as he felt her fingers massaging the knots wound tightly in his neck. What were they other than a beautiful disaster? He could protect them both, but if they maintained this life, he would be doing a disservice to Agnes.

“Lizzy…if we put her up for adoption, there’s a paper trail. It’ll just make it easier for someone to come in a harm her.” he mumbled the words, in a tone so low, he half wondered if they had been spoken at all. “There has to be another option.” the words hung dead in the air.

She moved her hands from his neck to hold his face, her thumbs making circles on his cheek. Their eyes met and he could see her eyes held the same storm clouds as his.

There has to be another option. He saw a tiny spark of hope in the small tear forming at the corner of her eye.

“Can I take you dinner tonight Liz? I might have a solution that will be amenable to us both, I just need some time to get things arranged.” he mindlessly bit his lip as he collected his thoughts. He needed to make a call, but it just might work.

* * *

“It always comes back to trust with us doesn’t it?” Liz sighed. She could feel her phone vibrating frantically in her back pocket. There’s only one person it could be and they wouldn’t call unless it was important.

“Keen,” she answered the call more aggressively than she intended. Aram’s voice was thoroughly terrified in response.

Her eyes stay trained on his, attempting to keep the gravity of their conversation viable. He was already receding into his stoic demeanor. If she didn’t wrap this up soon, he’d be lost again.

“Okay, Aram, I’ll be in as soon as I can. Start the trace and fill me in on the rest at the office.” She didn’t wait for a goodbye, palming the phone back into her pocket.

* * *

“You asked me once if you could trust me. I told you no, god no.” he narrowed his gaze. Her tone was becoming defensive, the last thing he needed was for her to leave again in anger.

“I have trusted you implicitly these past few years. I might not have agreed with your choices, goodness knows I despised many of them, but I trusted that you would one day come around. Can you extend that kind of trust to me? Please.” he met her intense glare with one of his own.

_Lizzy, please see that I am not trying to deceive you._

* * *

“Red I trust you, _of course_ , I trust you.” She gave him a confused half smile.

_Where was this fear coming from?_

“I just can’t believe I’m dragged back into the office…” She grumbled off, leaning down to check on Agnes. The angel was starting to stir.

“Red I hate to ask this, but can you watch her while I catch up on this new lead? It really shouldn’t take too long, maybe we can still get dinner.” Red stood there, still immobile.

She walked towards the frozen statue standing behind the stroller. Wrapping her arms around his waist she hung back playfully looking up at him.

“Smile, please. You’ll be fine, you’ve had kids before. Besides Aggie _adores_ you and Dembe won’t be far away.”

* * *

Wires were getting crossed again. Why couldn’t he think straight on matters related to Liz? Everything else in his life, he was cool, calm, collected, and had every last detail meticulously calculated. But with her, it was as if some switch flipped and suddenly he was incapable of anything other than succumbing to his emotions and fears.

“Duty calls.” Of course she wasn’t upset with him. She had wanted to spend the morning together, just the three of them. “Spending some time with Agnes, I can think of far worse things to be doing on a day like today.” he looked off into the park.

“I have some business matters to attend to,” he held a finger up, pausing her open mouthed, “Nothing dangerous, just some calls I need to make, things I need to check on. As you said, Dembe won’t be far away, he’ll make sure I keep my promise.”

* * *

“Don’t take her around any of your Swedish associates either, they’re just as bad as gun fire.” Liz couldn’t help but get excited at the prospect of Red and Agnes finally getting some alone time. Maybe Red will finally realize what a big challenge making a life for their child would be.

“Oh I think there’s something on your lip…” she leaned up and kissed him like her life depended on it. If there’s one thing she wasn’t going to take for granted it was all the perks that came with this messy, complicated relationship.

“Got it,” she whispered, eyes still closed, into his breathless mouth. She leaned down and kissed Agnes one more time.

“Sorry sweetheart I have to leave, but-” she stopped mid-sentence eyeing Red carefully. “ _Daddy_ will take good care of you.” She hadn’t even used the term with Tom yet and now she was glad she waited.

* * *

“They’re not all bad. Lilly is actually quite the artist with sugar. Agnes would simply love some of her colorful and magical creations.” He tilted his head and stupidly smiled at Lizzy, an attempt to alleviate any remaining tension. He looked down at the stroller: Agnes was starting to fuss again.

“Daddy will make sure he takes care of his little girl” he reached over and kissed Liz on the cheek, “Of the both of you. Dinner at 7?” he sensually whispered in her ear. He pulled away, catching her eyes once more. They were once again smiling and sparkling.

* * *

As shocked as Liz was she was oddly aroused.

_Shit._

Before she could give it a second thought (and possibly a third or fourth) she sprinted off towards the parking lot keys and phone firmly in hand.

“No I need the family’s EXACT location, keep them detained until we can send a unit.” Liz barked. Switching gears was too easy, but that last little comment threw her for a loop. Dinner should prove interesting.

* * *

He was aimlessly rolling the stroller back and forth as he watched Liz jet off to work. He was disappointed the three of them had been unable to enjoy that ice cream together but he was elated at the prospect of spending the day with Agnes.

When she didn’t quiet down, he squatted to pick her up. He was quickly greeted by an unpleasant odor. No wonder she was fussing.

“Dembe, let’s locate the nearest restroom. We have a small issue I need to deal with.” his eyes widened quickly before returning to their normal size.

//

With a freshly changed diaper, Agnes was now nestled tightly against his shoulder, chewing on his finger.

“Where shall we go my dear?” her chubby cheeks broke out in a large smile at the sound of his voice. He couldn’t help but return the expression. “Shall we go to a museum? Maybe the botanical gardens?”

A tour of the various gardens around DC sounded just lovely to him. Admire all the beauty and grace that nature has created with the perfect little flower he had helped to cultivate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did that just get kinky at the end? Did we just do that? Oops. Must have slipped...


	7. Dinner For Two?

“No Cooper, please” Liz begged into the phone. She had the lights on in her SUV, ripping down the freeway at top speeds towards the Post Office. “Send me with the unit, I can go with Ressler.”

Cooper was hell-bent on Keen staying out of the field. She did need to converse with Aram about her lead, but the sudden movement with the family had everyone spooked. A fight between the siblings that put the local officials on alert. She had already known about the brother from Reddington, but apparently this was news to the Task Force.

//

When she made it down the elevator and into the basement, it was more bustling than ever. Techs were sprawled out over every available inch of desk space, some FBI jacket grunts were hauling in crates of evidence, and then there was Cooper and Aram huddled next to his computer screen in the corner of the bullpen.

“Agent Keen!” Aram’s voice perked right up.

“Catch me up, what’s with move-in day?” Liz couldn’t help but notice the mix of standard packing boxes and heavy duty wooden crates marked with foreign script.

“Aram, how about you update her on the evidence Reddington and she found at the crime scene? Once you two finish, see me in my office Keen.” Cooper’s fathering eyes searched her face for any signs of trouble before disappearing into his perch high above the hustle and bustle.

“Right, well, we rewired that walkie and I can determine the broadcast frequency they were using. It looks like they had a DCS system set up. It’ll take some time, but I can use the security code to try and triangulate the location of the paired receiver broadcasting the matching code.”

“Wait, receiver? You mean the walkie was a trigger?” Liz was struggling to keep up with Aram’s tech talk but she was getting the gist.

“Exactly, the fire in that warehouse, it wasn’t an accident and it looks like you found the cause.”

“So someone’s sabotaging Otto’s supply routes,” Keen was already a million miles away pondering the new clues. She started up the stairs to Cooper’s office.

“Um, I’ll let you know when we have a location! Liz!” Aram called out, she could barely hear him. “Did anything get better since the last time we talked?”

She had completely forgot, Aram still hadn’t been updated on everything. He’d die if he knew _Mr. Reddington_ was with Agnes right now.

“We’ll talk after this. Lunch?” She smiled, trying to calm him, before bounding up two steps at a time to the principal’s office.

* * *

When they arrived at the Botanic Garden, the place was swarming with security. A few calls later and he was able to piece together enough information to rule the garden out for his day with Agnes. Seems some diplomat was in town with his family and they would be spending the next few hours there. He had considered a museum or art gallery, but frankly, an infant in either place was not ideal. Even less so for someone with a profile as high as his.

“Isabella has been wanting to take Elle to the zoo for a while now,” Dembe interrupted Red’s thoughts. “We could pick them up and the five of us could go there if you like.” It was a pleasing thought to Red, an opportunity to enjoy some normalcy in his rather exotic life.

“That would be wonderful.”

//

It wasn’t long before the five people found themselves blending in with the rest of the families at the zoo. Red and Isabella strode shoulder to shoulder, each carrying their own precious cargo. Red had left the stroller in the car, opting to hold Agnes close to his chest, contact he craved almost as much as the child. Dembe trailed behind, carrying a large bag full of all the supplies they might need to tend to the children.

Red loved the birds the most so he made it a point to linger about their exhibits the longest. The swans with an air of elegance and grace, the peacocks with their luscious feathered spreads, and the flamingos whose shade of pink always tickled him with delight.

Agnes stirred, letting out a sleepy little squeak as her eyes barely parted. Her lips and fingers motioned and Red grabbed a bottle from Dembe. He quietly fed her as they continued their stroll.

//

When all parties were sufficiently thrilled, they departed the park. They bid farewell to Isabella and Elle and began driving towards a small apartment of Red’s. Pulling out his phone, he made a series of necessary followup calls.

His associates had gathered some more information about the Holdens. There was a little bit of family drama going on that the FBI had been made aware of just a few hours prior. After a long pause, he dialed one more number.

“How would you feel about raising a child again?”

* * *

“Keen, take a seat.” Harold’s tone was tempered and cautious. “I’m sorry we had to call you in. I know you were looking forward to your day with Agnes.”

“Criminals don’t take a day off,” Liz started.

“Unless you’re Raymond Reddington. That private jet of his is going to get him in trouble. What’s this I’ve heard about Portugal?” She was startled.

_Portugal?_

“Um,” Liz couldn’t find her words. “I-”

Before she could get a word out Cooper’s phone rang, interrupting their bizarre conversation.

“Cooper. Yes. I’ll divert the case agents right away. Thank you.” Quickly replacing the phone to cradle, his face shifted.

“Why did I think I’d get one moment to breath and have a normal conversation?” Harold’s hand massaged as his temples, he was tired beyond belief. “Go meet Ressler at the family’s house, we need a profiler on site now.”

With that, Liz was off. She welcomed the distraction, her psych skills were beginning to get rusty and she didn’t want to know where that conversation was heading.

//

Two hours and one screaming mother later, Liz stumbled out of the shell shocked house in agony. Her head was throbbing. The setting sun was burning through her tightly closed eyelids.

“And don’t you EVER come back, you hear me?!” The woman screamed, slamming the door so hard it rattled Liz’s teeth.

“I guess that went well,” Ressler’s deadpan snark slapped her like a wet towel.

“So much for a gentle touch,” she grumbled.

“We’ve been at her for hours, she’s probably at her wits end keeping her story straight. We’ll try again tomorrow.” Ressler’s arm snaked around Liz’s shoulder reassuringly, walking her back to the car. “In the meantime, let the techs sort through all the junk we collected from the brother.”

“We’re gonna have a long day of paper work tomorrow,” Liz wasn’t excited. Confiscating materials meant mountains of paper pushing and formalities while Aram sorted through the shit storm for their needle in the haystack.

“We should fuel up. Are you hungry? We can pick up some Chinese and get started on some of the red tape…” Ressler knew it was foolish to even ask. She hadn’t been near the workaholic she once was since becoming a mother.

_Especially since Reddington._

“I actually have dinner plans,” she pulled out from under his arm. “Besides if I look at one more redacted document I think I’m going to explode.” She tried her best to laugh off the disappointment in his face, slide into their comfortable back and forth, but it was no use. He was already jumping into his car.

“See you tomorrow Keen,” she was no longer Liz. She was back to Keen. How quickly things change, just when she thought they were going back to normal.

No matter, she was in a rush to get ready for this evening. She wondered what time Red would be picking her up.

* * *

“Kate, please. It’s only until tomorrow. I need someone to watch her and you’re the only person I can trust on such short notice.” he was pacing around the apartment with his phone pressed between his shoulder and ear as he gently bounced a giggly Agnes.

“Short notice for cleaning crime scenes Raymond, not babies behinds. I love the dear and don’t mind watching her, but if this is to become a regular thing, we need to discuss different business terms.” her stern voice pierced through the speaker.

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” he sighed heavily, his wavering tone close to betraying his feelings. “Dembe will be by in an hour with her. Double your usual rate?” a grumbling on the other end of the line was all the confirmation he would receive.

//

Just before 6:00 P.M., he found himself standing in front of the door to Liz’s rental. A garment bag containing a gift for her was draped across his arms. He had seen her current wardrobe and none of the options there would be suitable for this evening. He had very glamorous plans and he wanted her to look her absolute best.

He positively glowed when she opened the door.

* * *

She was struggling out of her shoes when she answered the door, nearly falling over in the process. She was running late and still hadn’t taken a shower, per usual. Her shoulders ached and her mind was exhausted, but her interest was piqued at the bag in his hands.

“We’re seriously going to have to set some boundaries on the gifts,” she smiles teasingly pulling him in through the door.

* * *

He pushed the door closed with his shoulder, smirking.

“You can try to set some boundaries later. But you need to get ready now.” He would be concerned if it were any other woman, but he knew Lizzy could go from hot mess to picture of perfection in no time at all.

He handed her the bag and she slunk off, casting a sultry look over her shoulder. He could feel a stirring in his loins but now was not the time to misbehave. Closing his eyes, he willed his body to calm down.

* * *

When he didn’t follow she knew they must be late. Now she felt bad.

She took the quickest shower possible and barreled out with a hairdryer in one hand and a stick of deodorant in the other. She was a balancing act of hygiene products. She spun and twirled, discarding used items on the bed and littering the floor with wet towels and picked over apparel.

Unzipping the bag, she pulled out the most gorgeous off-white dress she’d ever seen. There was an audible gasp as she estimated the price tag of such an item. Attached was matching diamond jewelry in stunning gold that cost as much or more than the dress itself. She was floored, a little uncomfortable, and nervous. She was going to have to get used to this kind of treatment, she supposed, but she needed to lay down the rules. She didn’t need a sugar daddy. He could get the whole package without extravagant gifts.

* * *

His jaw nearly hit the floor when she stepped out of the bedroom. Her hair was pulled up, one lone strand running down her neck. Her eyes sparkled as much as the diamonds dancing around her elegant throat. And the way the dress clung to her curves…

Everything looked even more stunning on her than he imagined. He held out a hand to her, and she glided towards him, gripping his palm with soft fingers.

“You look ravishing Lizzy.” He placed a kiss on her hand, eyes never breaking contact.

“Shall we go? I think you will enjoy my plans for this evening.” Her expression was guarded. She was even less pleased with him for spending so much now that she saw what he brought. With the life she has had, she was more than deserving of a little opulence. To him, she would forever be a queen deserving of such grace.

* * *

She hadn’t realized before how equally attractive he looked tonight. He was always the definition of class, mentally and physically, but something about tonight was different. Maybe it was the way he was holding himself. She quickly realized she was staring and still hadn’t answered his question. Something about his eyes… He was hiding something.

“Where are we going? You know I don’t like surprises…” As if she wasn’t already tense enough.

* * *

“My yacht. For an evening of dining and dancing. We always go undercover in these roles but never once have we truly indulged in them for pleasure. It’s always business. Tonight, I want it to be about us.” He held the door open ushering her out.

//

They pulled up to the harbor and he led her towards his slip, lightly tugging her along. Lights already glowed warmly aboard, promising a romantic evening in the moonlight.

“What shall we eat tonight? Whatever you desire, my chefs are ready to prepare.”

* * *

She was baffled, quite honestly she didn’t know he had a yacht, but she wasn’t surprised. She couldn’t help but find her senses peaked and guard raised.

“I always enjoy whatever you pick,” she handed over the reins.

She needed to keep him on his toes, he was planning something and it had nothing to do with this evening. Regardless, she intended on enjoying her first real night out in a long time and she had to admit this dress was smashing.

* * *

There was little conversation over dinner outside commentary regarding the luxurious dishes and accompanying drinks. He couldn’t help but steal glances at Liz the whole evening: the way her hand held the silverware, the way her mouth and throat moved as she ate, the half lidded looks as she smelled each new course.

She had relaxed considerably as the evening extended on, something which he was grateful for. After the last of the dishes were cleared from the table, he couldn’t help but stare at her as the candlelight gently flickered. She was looking out the windows in quiet contemplation. Carefully as he could, he moved his chair backwards and stood behind her, hands on the back of her chair.

“It’s a beautiful night, shall we venture outside?” he had leaned forward to intimately whisper the question. She jumped a little at the sound of his voice before turning to look at him.

* * *

She was getting flashbacks to the night of the shipping container stepping out onto the deck under the stars like this. That night was burned into her memory, a puzzle piece that now fits perfectly into place, helping to complete the picture of Raymond Reddington slowly but surely.

“I hope Agnes didn’t give you too much trouble. When she doesn’t get her nap she can be quite the handful.” She was desperate to know how his day went. To see if he’d been scared off yet.

* * *

He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her to rest his hands on the railing.

“Agnes was a perfect angel. We spent the day at the zoo with Dembe and his family.” he was gently stroking her arm with his thumb as he watched the minuscule waves cresting in the moonlight.

“You should have seen her precious little face at all the different sights and sounds. Each exhibit was new and thrilling to her and her expressions reflected pure delight.” she had actually been very well behaved throughout the day. Complaining only a little when she was hungry or when her diaper was in need of a change.

* * *

“She’s better with you than me, you should keep her more often.” She laughed, half kidding half meaning it. She wouldn’t mind having a partner in crime to wake up in the middle of the night with. Taking turns calming her down. Crawling back into his arms after a 3am tantrum. Liz was lost in thought. At ease.

“Red, tonight has been lovely.”

* * *

He had been dying to her that lovely laugh from her again. It was like the purest honey dripping from her and sweetening his life a little bit more. His laughter joined with hers to form a most beautiful duet.

“All I wanted from tonight was to tell you all that you mean to me.” He nestled his chin into the space between her neck and shoulder. “You are more beautiful to me than any diamond, more pure than even the whitest of dresses. Even the finest wines and foods lack your complexity.” he swallowed hard.

* * *

“I know,” she whispered into his mouth. She didn’t need to tell him how much he meant to her. He had to know. He _had_ to.

All his love was poured into gestures and metaphors, into some collage of looks and touches. He was the big romantic gesture guy. He was warm blankets by the fire on a rainy night. One look could send her into pieces.

This one did.

“I want to be a family,” her forehead was pressed firmly to his. Eye closed tight. “I want our daughter to see every day just how much her parents love each other.”

The longer this night continued the more she bought into the delusion that she was confessing now. She was praying for some alternate universe where this could really happen. Where she could wake up to eggs sunny side up and Saturday morning cartoons. The more she looked into his eyes the more she believed he could make it happen. He could move mountains. Change history. Slay kings.

But he couldn’t fix this. This was the impossible.

“There needs to be an _us_ before there can be a family.”

* * *

A tear rolled down his cheek and he was unsure whether it belonged to him or her. He pushed harder into her forehead until their lips just barely touched.

“I want an us. I _need_ an us Elizabeth. Even more than that I want to see the three of us a happy family. To one day have a quiet house far away from the rest of the world. I want to see my daughter grow into a beautiful woman just like her mother. See her become the best of the both of us.” he pressed his lips to hers in a wet kiss. He pulled back, stroking her jaw before tilting her head back to look at her.

“Help me define this Lizzy otherwise we’re both just treading water in this sea of emotions and it’s only a matter of time before we drown.” he wanted a family again, to know that he could be loved and that someone was willing to receive love in return.

* * *

“I don’t know up from down right now, Red.” She laughed. Uncontrollably.

This night was insane. Unreal. She knew at any moment she’d wake up from this dream and be thrown right back into the sticky swamp of reality. Her belly roared as she struggled to smoother her mildly intoxicated giggling.

“We’re the two most dysfunctional people I know and what? You’re going to be my _boyfriend_?” She was sent into another wave of hilarity.

* * *

_Perhaps we should have skipped the wine_. All he could do was hold onto her arms as she laughed and sobbed as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“I despise the term. If you insist on applying a label, suitor would far more appropriately convey my intentions towards you and us.”

* * *

“Oh _intentions,_ ” the word slithered off her tongue. She pressed a firm hand to his chest and walked him backwards, fingers crawling up to the knot of his tie.

“And what exactly would those _intentions_ be? To make a respectable woman out of me? Wife number five? Or the side kick to your little anti-hero crusade?” Her wry smile notched up more and more with every word. Her glance swayed from his toes to the brim of his hat, drinking him in.

* * *

He grabbed her wrists, stopping her advance and onslaught of words. He leaned in until the tips of their noses touched. When he finally spoke, his tone was firm yet passionate.

“If you would have me, my intentions would be to someday marry you. Give you the life and the family you so desire. You are not just some notch on a bedpost and I would be damned to ever think of you as anything less than an equal to my anti-hero.” his thumbs were now rubbing her palms, one paying particular attention to her scar.

* * *

She stopped her giggling. Pulled back. The sobering light of fear engulfed her eyes like a flash flood.

“Raymond,” she couldn’t even find the words. She continued rubbing her scar rapidly and fidgeting with the lightly pale band of skin where a ring once sat.

* * *

“Were you expecting me to back down?” He was as much an emotional mess as she. His hand fell to his thighs, rubbing back and forth.

“This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you Lizzy. Wrong place. Wrong time. Like everything with us.” He clenched his jaw as he shook his head. This night was rapidly escaping him.

* * *

Liz laughed again. Wrong place? Always the wrong time.

“What? You wanted to drop down to one knee? Take off your hat and grab my hand? Last time that happened you palmed a gun into it.” She tilted her head back and leaned against the railing feeling the wind whip around the boat and into her face.

* * *

He sat down on the deck and leaned against the railing. He leaned his head back to rest against the metal upright.

“Not tonight I didn’t. I just wanted to see where we stood as a couple and convey to you all the feelings I have left unsaid for far too long. Lizzy, you are so hell-bent on the destination, you forget to sit back and enjoy the journey.” he rolled his head to the side, to look up at her.

“I know where I want to go from here, will you follow me? It won’t be easy, but I wouldn’t expect it to be anything but complicated where you are concerned.” He blinked slowly at her, and a feeble smile danced across his lips.

* * *

She slid her back calmly down until she was seated next to Red on the deck. Back to square one, drunk and pressed up against a wall, only this time less the vomit. She could only _hope_ Red would be carrying her naked to bed.

“We’re a mess you know that?” She laid her head on his shoulder, trying to fight the ear splitting grin breaking her face in two. She sighed. His lips pressed firmly to the top of her head.

“Lead away, I’m all yours.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and stroked his side gently.

* * *

“Even I lack the metaphor for the mess we are.” he leaned his head against hers, rubbing against her silky hair. They sat there in silence, basking in the comfort of each others presence, for what seemed like an eternity. Tonight had not gone exactly as he planned, but he could not have asked for a better end.

_No. The night is still young._

“I need to make a call Lizzy.” he muttered into tumbles of hair. “I know you don’t like surprises, but this…this one will mean the world to you.” He gently pried himself away from her hold, a hold he didn’t want to leave.

* * *

You pushed down her skeptic and suspicious nature.

_Trust_ , she reminded herself.

She decided to distract herself with his figure walking away into the darkness. His vest still pulled tightly around his middle, forming out his strong body, his arms still taunt with sleeves rolled up. He was quite the sight to see and quite the distraction.

It dawned on her that she was still in her ridiculously expensive dress and slouched on the floor. She had to be ruining her gift. She pushed herself up and walked towards the front of the yacht.

* * *

“Kate? Change of plans. You mind setting a few things up for me as well? Yes, yes, the total will be triple your regular rate. You have Elizabeth’s current address? Excellent. And Kate, thank you for everything. I’ll be in touch again soon to discuss some business propositions.” he flipped his phone closed, turning it in his hand a few times before pocketing it. All that was left to do was route his boat back to shore. 

//

The ride back to Liz’s apartment was a blur. He didn’t remember getting off the boat, getting in the car, or even the trek up the stairs. But here he was, standing in front of her door, arm-in-arm with the woman he loved.

“Lizzy, before you open the door,” he put his hand on hers, pausing her unlocking, “Your surprise…do you want to give this family thing a try?” he needed to hear her answer again, now that she had sobered up a bit.

* * *

“You mean baby monitors, tired sex, and dirty diapers? Sure, a temporary lease sounds great.” Liz rolled her eyes and shook her hand free of his, continuing to unlock the door.

* * *

“I had Mr. Kaplan bring Agnes home. Tonight. Had her set up the apartment to be a little more family oriented as well.” he was quick with his words, finishing just as she pushed the door open.

Soft singing greeted both their ears when Liz opened the door.

* * *

Her heart melted when she saw Agnes so happy in Kate’s arms. She quickly squeezed Red’s hand and rushed to her daughter’s side relieving the tired woman of what must have been a long day’s work.

“Hello sweetheart, how was your day?” Her voice was unnaturally high and sweet. Liz couldn’t help but become putty in this tiny angel’s hand.

* * *

_Thank you_. He mouthed to Kate after she handed Agnes off to Liz. Her voice was climbing ever higher with each passing second.

“She’s been a darling to me the whole evening. Gave one of my girls a run for her money though. It was entertaining to say the least.” she chuckled before moving towards the door. She paused when she reached Red.

“Do you know what you’re doing Raymond?” she whispered to him, so as not to interrupt Liz and Agnes.

“No. Does any parent ever really know?” he raised his eyebrow at her.

“I suppose not.” she shrugged her shoulders and bowed out. He locked the door behind her and walked over to Liz. He gently rubbed her back, listening to the soothing tune she was now humming to Agnes. Small eyes fluttered, trying to fight the inevitable weight of sleep.

* * *

“Looks like it’s past someone’s bedtime,” she whispered rocking her daughter gently. She smiled at Red, he really did think of everything. Nothing like a trail run to seal the deal.

Agnes had her own space attached off the side of the living room, small and modestly furnished, but comfortable. Carefully as to not disturb the child, she sat in the rocking chair hoping to help Agnes nod off. Maybe the irregular night will drift her into a deep sleep and give the parents some needed rest.

* * *

When Agnes had finally drifted off to sleep, he dragged Liz to bed. He could tell she was absolutely exhausted. He slowly unzipped her dress, running his finger all down the length of her back, revealing a silky camisole underneath. He placed kisses at the nape of her neck and across her shoulders as he slid the straps down. He left her to finish removing the dress and her accessories as he undressed himself.

He was quite exhausted and stripped down to just his shirt and boxers. A moment after he collapsed on the bed, the light flicked off and he felt the bed shift under the weight of its newest occupant. A hand and head rested themselves on his chest. It wasn’t long before sleep claimed him.

* * *

There was nothing she loved more than sleeping up against Red. His arms wrapped around her protectively like he was never letting go. The safety was comforting, an intimacy and dependency she usually found herself uncomfortable with.

She couldn’t help wrapping the covers underneath her body and tangling their legs together, probably putting him in extreme discomfort, but she was happy as a clam. It didn’t take long for her to drift into a deep sleep absent of nightmares for the first time in forever.

//

But she couldn’t escape reality forever, as if on a schedule, she heard Agnes’ familiar cries sound off at 4am sharp. Liz groaned. Slowly she attempted to untangle the mess of limbs, pillows, and stolen blankets between the two of them.

* * *

He heard Agnes crying, but it was the arm that slapped him across the chest that ripped him from sleep. Once his heart settled and the spots faded from his eyes, he realized Liz was far more tangled in the blankets than he. She had begun muttering to herself and cursing the very existence of the blankets.

“Lizzy, I’ll get her.” he touched her arm, or, what he assumed to be her arm. He unwound himself and shuffled to Agnes’ room.

“Shhuushh shh. Come here little one.” he reached into the crib and pulled the crying child into his arms. He pat her back and walked her around the room. When that failed, he continued his walk back to their bedroom. Liz had finally won the war against the blankets and was smoothing them back into place.

“She won’t quiet down. Thought she might want you.” he curled up on the bed with the two most important women in his life. He watched as Liz tenderly stroked Agnes’ head and when she started her song, his heart soared.

//

He was dancing on the edge of sleep when he realized Agnes had finally quieted down. He kissed Liz’s cheek, encouraging her to move so he could return Agnes’ to her crib. She moaned, returning the kiss before rolling onto her other side.

He would never admit it to Liz, but he really did not miss this part of parenthood. But it really didn’t matter. It was more than worth it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, listen, listen. I know what you're thinking. Where's this story going? It's like there's no plot, no intricately planned out arcs, the character development is reversed and re-reversed. I KNOW. But we're just riding this storm wherever our RP mood takes us that day and it's turned into a bit of a fluffy shitfest. A fluffy shitfest we still enjoy the hell out of. Hope others do too.  
> -cantletgo  
>   
> It's not as bad as cantletgo makes it seem. I promise we do have some grand master plan of where this is going. Shall we say, we're taking Red's advice in this chapter to heart (he's a smart man, you should listen to him more Lizzy...have faith). On another note, our schedules are unfortunately changing. Chapter updates will not be anywhere near as quick as they have been the past week and a half (or so). Reminder to check out the writing blogs on Tumblr if you're getting really needy for an update.  
> -StarsAreMyOcean


	8. Stained Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Some NSFW

He was shackled to sleep and not being set free anytime soon. The late night parenting call must have worn him out more than he let on. She didn’t even remember Agnes being returned to her crib. The house was still silent, their daughter still asleep, and Liz got a mischievous idea.

While she couldn’t make breakfast to save her life, there were far better things to wake up to in this newfound domestic life. Unwinding her tight grip on the covers, she slipped between the sheets and between his legs.

* * *

He didn’t dream often but right now, he found himself naked on a beach, waves gently curling around him. The cool water rushed across his thighs, soft sea foam tickling his cock, and slick sand moved around under his ass. It was a most pleasing sensation, best of all was that he could _feel_  it.

 _Wait._ All the hairs on his arms were now standing at attention as waves of pleasure began to wash over him. Information slowly trickled through the inky depths of sleep. He was being physically manipulated. Someone had taken his rapidly hardening member in their mouth.

Her mouth.

 _Lizzy._  His chest rumbled, the name coming out as a deep moan. That tongue was skilled in more ways than just giving him a verbal lashing. Sleep was slowly releasing its grip on his mind. Rolling his face into the pillow, he carefully stretched, being sure to ever so gently motion his hips toward Liz.

* * *

Liz could get used to this. Waking up next to him was pleasure enough but seeing him writhe like that in the early morning light before she was off to work, even better. His grinding got more aggressive and his hands came down to cradle her head. Now she knew he was awake.

Slowly and teasingly, she climbed up his torso, pressing her body ever so slightly on top of his until her head emerged from the sheets. Kissing a trail up his body, she finally rested on his chest, snuggling into the crook of his arm. He was still hard, she hadn’t given him the pleasure of a release yet.

“Good morning” she mumbled lazily into his neck, still sucking and kissing his rough unshaven stubble.

* * *

Finally opening his eyes, he could make out her blurry figure now nuzzling against his arm.

“Morning Lizzy.” He smiled at her, appreciative of the manner in which he had awoken. “To what to do I owe this pleasure? And what do I need to do to get you to continue? Would be a shame to have to finish it myself.” He still wasn’t fully awake and his thoughts were running down a singular trail.

He could get used to mornings like this, the oral sex was a fantastic way to wake up but having her snuggled close was what made it truly special.

* * *

“I’ve never seen you in a such a deep sleep,” she sighed.

It was only a matter of time before she had to get up and ready for work. Ressler was right, they had a ton of paperwork to do today if they wanted to move this case forward. As much as she’d like to spend all day snuggled into Red’s arm exploring the depths of their intimacy, she had to get moving.

She stirred from Red’s warm embrace attempting to climb over him to reach the closet.

* * *

He watched her cast a seductive glance at him as she slunk over his chest. As she moved past, he ran his hand down the curve of her back and back up the soft mound of her behind. Just when she thought she could get away, he wrapped arms around the middle of her thigh. She had dragged him out from the depths of the most peaceful and rejuvenating sleep he had had in years and he was feeling extremely selfish.

“May I propose a trade Lizzy? I’ll make you the most delicious breakfast spread if you would kindly finish what you’ve started.” He jutted his lower lip out in the most sincere pout he could muster. It was a difficult task as he knew his eyes and cock would give away his desires.

* * *

She didn’t have time for breakfast. She didn’t have time for play. Surely she was going to be late to work, but she rested on blaming parenting and lack of routine. Some things are worth playing hooky for and Raymond Reddington begging you to stay was one of them.

“I’m going to be late,” she whispered leaning down to kiss his closed pouty lips. Her smile gave her intentions away. His hands locked down on her thighs and pulled her onto his lap, straddling him on the bed, escape no longer possible.

“I’ll give you ten minutes,” she laughed. He flipped her over. Her curved spine arched against the cool set of the sheets. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he hovered over her. She liked dominant Red, she wasn’t going to lie. She just prayed that Agnes stayed asleep long enough.

* * *

He hated her profiling skills sometimes, like when she employed them as a part of her sexual game. It didn’t matter that he was the one on top, seemingly in charge, it was she who was truly in control. He lowered his cheek to hers, and growled in her ear.

“I only need five.” he had no idea how long she had been working him before he came to his senses but it must have been some time. He was painfully aroused and needed to feel her warmth surround him. A large hand fondled her perky breast. She was still wearing that luxurious camisole, the cool silk smoothly running over equally soft skin. With a final squeeze, he let his hand slide down her body to lift the bottom of the garment.

He parted her legs, easing himself inside. He loved all the sensations as her muscles slowly spread and then clenched around the head of his cock. He paused for a moment, waiting for them to relax. When they finally did, he continued his thrust until he could feel her pressing against his full length, hot with desire.

* * *

Suddenly she didn’t mind being late for work. In fact, screw work all together. She was ready to stay in these sheets all day, five minutes be damned, she’d keep him here for hours. Liz pulled roughly on his neck and settled a hand on his hips, adjusting his rhythm.

Liz tried to be as quiet as she could but couldn’t help moaning in his ear louder than intended. His mouth sucked at her neck and nipped the skin playfully. It was driving her wild and giving uncontrollable consequences.

Nearly seconds later, those consequences came into play. Agnes’ cries bellowed through the hall and into the bedroom. They’d woken her with their noise. Things had been too good to be true, Aggie never slept in this late, and of course right when she was getting close. This whole family balance thing was going to be a lot harder than she thought. Adding Red into the equation was a whole new ballgame.

* * *

At the sound of those innocent cries, he pressed his lips into Liz’s neck and groaned. Between Agnes' unregulated sleep schedule and their loudness...they would have to figure out the logistics later. Massaging Liz’s shoulder, he slowly pulled out to sit with his legs spread wide.

“Give…me a minute.” he closed his eyes to focus on his breathing. It was shallow and rapid: he had been so close to ejaculating. “Just…one moment…to compose…myself.” It was Lizzy’s turn to get Agnes, but he knew better than to say that to her right now. Between her needing to get ready for work and Agnes waking up, their moment together had passed.

* * *

Liz pulled the pillow over her face, groaning loudly in frustration. Her instincts between mother and lover pulled at her like a pack of wild dogs. She was being torn apart. Finally she pulled herself together balancing selfishness and responsibility. Sitting up she grabbed him hard, one hand on his cock, the other on his chin.

“Two minutes. Keep yourself busy, but wait for me.” She moved her lower hand gently for a moment until Agnes’ shrieks reached new levels, summoning her attention.

* * *

His brows furrowed tightly together. It had been a futile attempt to calm himself down to take care of Agnes and let Liz be on time for work. Liz still had a firm hold on both his cock and his chin. With a weak motion, he nodded towards the source of the cries. She loosened her grip and was off.

A sighed parted his lips as he watched her pleasing figure disappear from the room. Mindlessly, he kneaded his balls and contemplated remaining on the bed for her return.

But he wanted something more.

He followed the same path she had just tread. Arriving at Agnes’ room, he leaned against the door frame to watch mother and daughter. He found the sultry goddess Liz very erotic, but nothing could turn him on more than watching how tender she was with their child. This was the Liz he had fallen in love with, the woman with all the love to give.

* * *

Aggie was hungry and lonely, a wicked combination for a morning interruption of this magnitude. After a bottle she quickly calmed back down and tugged playfully at her mother’s hair. Liz might have been frustrated before but looking at this sweet face now she could feel nothing but love.

Before she knew it Red was pressed up behind her, chin resting on her shoulder, arms wrapped around her waist. She half expected his impatience to get the better of him, lips teasing the soft bruises already forming from their previous encounter. Afterall, she could feel his erection against her back. But instead he was gazing in wonder at their child.

“We made this,” she whispered, still in awe after all this time.

* * *

“I have truly seen some of the worst that humanity has to offer. But **all** of that fades away when I look at her.” he continued paying attention to that delicate neck of hers, now running his nose along it, taking in her scents.

“We made something more precious than words can describe Elizabeth.” he mumbled behind her ear. Agnes looked up at Red with bright eyes that sparkled with wonder. He walked the two of them back towards the crib, gently swinging and swaying each step of the way.

* * *

Gently, she returned Agnes to the crib. The child was content playing with her own toes and drooling into the pillow top, something that wouldn’t be true for long. Liz needed to take advantage of it while it lasted. With one last look at Agnes, she turned to Red, shifting in his arms and grasping hold of his chin once more.

“I believe I gave you a direct order,” her voice was stern, rough even. Quickly switching off the gentile mother mode she refocused her attention on the frustration from earlier.

“And now I’m most certainly going to be late for work,” she sighed and released him. She started for the door leaving a stunned and shocked Red silent in his place.

“Well, are you coming?” she called over her shoulder, an unstoppable bullet train barreling towards it’s destination.

She still had to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and take Agnes to Kate for babysitting. Or whatever “new idea” Red came up with for child care. There was no way she could ponder adoption now, not after the past couple days. Red had shown her a new future through the eyes of their daughter and in their relationship itself. She was filled with a renewed sense of hope she prayed wasn’t false.

* * *

He stared at her blankly a moment before following. It was amazing watching her shift between sweet, tender mother, and rough, commanding lover. When he entered the room, she was standing at the foot of the bed, arms folded, hips cocked to the side. He strode over to her, brushing her closely before sitting on the bed, legs spread.

It was a shame he didn’t have the opportunity to finish earlier, he rarely had the chance to be in control. Not that he minded, having Liz in charge was one of the more erotic experiences he ever had. A fire burned deep in her and it always spread to him like a wildfire in a drought. But in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter. Whatever she had in mind right now would make up for the interruption.

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to beg forgiveness for disobeying?” he smirked then ran his tongue across his upper lip. He could still tease her and feign some command.

* * *

“If I punished you every time you disobeyed, we wouldn’t find time for anything else.” Red was the King of disobeying, whether it was the Task Force, his colleagues, friends, enemies, he was never doing what he was told.

Red’s tongue moved from her hip to between her legs, hands grabbing at her waist. In a snap decision, she landed a hard slap across the side of his face, the contact stinging her hand. She wasn’t really sure why she’d slapped him, but somehow she knew he’d enjoy it. All the signs in his profile pointed to kinky and sexually adventurous. From the little time she’d spent with his former lovers she knew it wasn’t his first rodeo.

While he may be the dominant at work, confidence oozing, controlling hands and glances, Liz could tell he was most turned on when thrown into submission. Being overpowered sent him on a high. She planned on taking advantage. Having power over Raymond Reddington was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. It was thrilling and hot as hell. She grabbed the side of his head, thumb caressing the edge of the red mark forming on his face. 

“No touching unless I give you permission, understand?”

* * *

His cheek stung where her hand had just hit. It was a surprise to say the least but the shock had quickly moved through his body, making his cock twitch. He let his hands wrap around to her ass a moment, then slid them down her thighs.

“Whatever you want Lizzy.” he let his hands fall to the bed, fingers twitching wildly in anticipation.

* * *

Her head tilted. Red was already stubborn. Not quick to comply. Even when he was so exposed. She could tell he was more aroused than ever and yet still he was practically begging for more punishment. She shook her head, he took his time removing those hands.

“Go,” she mumbled pointing in the direction of the top of the bed. She needed to make sure those hands didn’t disobey again.

* * *

She knew him too well and he liked where this was going. He pulled himself backwards, letting his toes brush against her as they came up from the floor. Dramatically, he spread his arms across the head board, lifting his chin and casting her a lustful grin.

“Is this what you want, Lizzy?” he rolled his palms to face her, flaring fingers in a questioning tone.

* * *

She glared at him, his sass and confidence screamed dominant and disobedient.

“You know Red, if you want to be in charge, by all means go ahead. But if this continues, I’m going to have to slap that smirk off your face.” She’d give him the option. She wasn’t sure he was ready to give up all his control yet and she did love seeing him in a meticulous and controlling fashion.

After plucking what she needed from the closet, she sauntered back to the side of the bed where his hands were patiently waiting.

“Dealer’s choice, what’s it going to be?” She offered the silky grey tie to him.

* * *

“Just _try_  to slap the smirk off my face. I’ll love every second.” Leaning forward, he bit the tie, pulling it from her hands. The silk felt lovely brushing against his skin. She might need another one, so he would just sit here and hold onto this one while he waited for her.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, a silent but challenging signal. She would have her hands full, he had been in quite the mood ever since she woke him up.

* * *

He did know she was a trained FBI agent ranking at the top of her class in combat right?

She ripped the tie from his mouth and quickly flipped him over onto his stomach like a runaway perp. One knee on the bed and the other in the small of his back, she tied his hands behind his back, tight enough to leave marks.

“Don’t test me Reddington,” she hissed in his ear.

* * *

He groaned at the sudden movement and the hard knee pressing into his back. She was being rougher with him than he had expected. The tie cutting into his wrists told him all he needed. Daring to move, he rolled his head to catch the time on the alarm clock. She would be extremely late by the time they finished here and got ready for the day.

“Slow down Lizzy,” he changed his tone from one of sass and defiance to one of quiet calm. “Please fix the tie. I’ll save my defiance for later when we have more time.” much as he loved pushing her buttons, now was definitely not doing either of them any favors.

* * *

She screeched into the Post Office parking lot an hour and half late, sneaking in the back door like a desperate teenager avoiding detection from overbearing parents. If she could just make it to her desk and start on the mound of paperwork she’d be in the clear.

Hopefully Cooper hadn’t called the morning briefing yet, but honestly, there wasn’t much to be briefed on. They were jammed until the red tape could be cut. Burned. Eviscerated. Ripped to shreds. The bureaucracy of the whole situation was beyond ridiculous.

//

_I have ways around that headache you call laws, Lizzy. All you have to do is ask._

Red had been reading the newspaper, sitting casually at the breakfast table. Agnes clanging loudly in a high chair with empty bowls.

Her morning had become more hectic than ever. The shower had taken longer than expected due to her newfound company. Luckily it was larger than usual for such a low-end apartment. Still, while cramped and giggly Red had murmured something about a new place.

_Maybe a house with a yard for our daughter to play in._

He was innocently planning a future while doing deeds that were anything but innocent. He made breakfast while she ripped through three different outfits, questioning what she’d worn before, what was clean, when was the last time she did laundry, if she had time to do something with her hair, and eventually opting for a casual friday look of neutral smelling clothes.

//

“Keen!” Ressler slammed his hand on the desk snapping Liz awake from her groggy daydreams. She quickly surveyed his mood and tone, the way his body was tilted aggressively.

No maybe annoyed, he’s definitely annoyed.

It took less than a second for her to figure out what he was thinking. He knew she was late and exactly why she was late. Caught red-handed.

“Where were you?” He retracted his body, standing up straight and crossing his arms defensively.

“Lost in my own head apparently.” She leaned back in her chair, crossed one leg, and picked up the next folder in the never ending stack that required her attention.

“There has to be some strings we could pull to get the warrant. We should try talking to Cooper again. If we explain that the family is-” Ressler shifted and eased, graciously accepting the subject change.  

“I talked to him again this morning, it’s a no go. The Bureau locked us down on this one.” Ress returned to his seat digging through a similar pile.

“Then maybe it’s time we colored outside the lines a bit.” She was beyond frustrated with the Bureau. The more digging she did the more she realized the family was tied to the Cabal. Well, at least one of the family members. Someone was protecting them and spitting in the Task Force’s face in the process.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Reddington.” Ressler leaned back, balancing the chair on two legs, head tipped slightly back to give him view of his target. In one swift motion he closed the office door and rolled forward. “What’d you have in mind?”

* * *

Brown eyes glared at him from over a hand painted teacup. The glass clinked as it was set on the nearby saucer.

“You _do_  know I have other clients Raymond?” she neatly folded her hand on her lap, delicate creases forming on her perfectly pressed skirt.

“I am aware.” he returned her look with a far softer one. “I have work I need to do and if I were to bring Agnes along with me, Elizabeth would be in a murderous mood.” his face contorted at sever memories of her threatening to kill him. And there was that one time in the beginning she almost did...

Faint noises rose from the bundle wrapped in his arms as Agnes stirred. She had not been in the mood to rest but had finally succumb to sleep on the ride. How long that sleep would last was unknown, she could be such a fussy child.

“Sometimes I feel I need to remind you. Weren’t you and Elizabeth supposed to look into a more permanent care situation?” her focus shifted from his face.

“We were supposed to discuss it over dinner the other night. An evening which played out far differently than I intended so the topic never came forth. It is a matter I need to discuss with her immediately. I would have left Agnes with him today but doing so would have been unwise without Elizabeth’s knowledge.” his hand stroked the blanket covering Agnes who had once again settled down.

“The longer you wait, the worse things will be for you dearie.”

“I know Kate.”

//

He and Dembe strode purposefully towards the rundown warehouse, guns drawn. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with this family. With their lies. With their desire to tear that which they should hold most dear to shreds. While he was desperately fighting to build a family he long desired for, they were busy waging a war to destroy theirs.

After everything that was going on with the big-wigs holding them up, he thought she would’ve jumped on the the opportunity to speed up the investigation. He was shocked when she didn’t but no matter, he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her approval to operate on his own turf. There was information he needed, and he would get it by any means.

* * *

Ressler was excellent company on the trip over to the warehouse. They were two kids with a secret; greedy and bonded by their newfound power.

“And you’re sure this tip is good?”

“The coordinates Aram gave me were for the receiver that caused Otto’s last warehouse fire. The walkie is still pinging so they haven’t moved. We have to jump on this opportunity before they’re in the wind again.”

“If it means catching these scumbags I guess we can work out the paperwork later.” Ressler seemed happy to have the old Liz back. Three years ago he never would have imagined jumping the turnstile of justice just to close a case, but she had shown him a new way. She brought something out in him that made him challenge everything he knew about himself.

When they pulled up to their target the doors were already wide open, kicked in by the looks of it. A familiar black sedan was parked out front, dust still freshly settled from it’s arrival.

“Reddington,” Ressler growled and pulled his gun, charging in.

* * *

He tugged a little harder on the chain that now restrained a young man to his workstation. The sweet melody of a mildly distressed grunt met his ears. Red squatted down next to him, a nasty smirk breaking the faux calm.

“Good thing the type of security you specialize in is cyber security, because when it comes to physical security, you seem to know absolutely nothing.” he held his hand out to Dembe, who handed him another length of chain. Dembe grabbed the man’s feet as Red quickly worked the chain around his calves. “Luckily for you, I do. My associate here is going to stand guard and make sure we work uninterrupted.”

Once he was secured, Dembe quickly removed Michael’s shoes, tossing them to the far corner of the room. 

“What are you going to do, tickle my feet until I piss myself? I don’t know anything, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you a thing.” a stern look was carved into his face. 

“Oh, I have a much better plan than that. See, your hands are very valuable to me, so I can’t exactly use some of my more conventional methods of persuasion. You _do_  know something and you _are_ going to tell me. If you insist upon your little charade of stupidity, I am going to break each and every one of your toes until you do remember something. If you still won’t talk, I’ll just have to get more creative.” he looked to Dembe, now standing with arms crossed, rusted hammer in hand.

“I wasn’t planning on this. It was all I could find that might work.” he offered the tool to Red.

“Marvelous. Tell me where Otto is.” Michael just stared silently at him. “Looks like we’re going to do this the fun way.” With a swing, the hammer fell hard, crushing a small digit beneath its head.

* * *

Liz and Ressler heard the screams from the down the hall and raced to the source. Turning the corner she heard one more loud groan that solidified the location of the victim.

“Ressler, maybe you should let me handle this.” Liz shifted her hand to restrain Donald from moving forward into the room. She knew what he’d find, a very upset and vicious associate extracting information from the man they were supposed to be taking into custody.

“I have to go in there. This is taking it too far.” Ress pushed past her arm, only to be stopped by a barrel chested, dark skinned man towering over him, blocking the doorway.

The screams continued.

* * *

“Raymond, we have company.”

Red threw the hammer to the ground, missing it’s next intended target by inches. “Don’t think I’m finished with you.” a deep baritone voice boomed to the quivering victim. He recomposed himself as he stood and began to unbutton his sleeves.

“Hello Donald, Lizzy. To what do we owe this pleasure?” he cheerily smiled as he rolled his sleeves to his elbows. It was a new shirt and he didn’t want to get it any dirtier than it already was.

“I’m not letting you do this Reddington. I know it was you who called that tip in. Why?” he was trying to push past Dembe, but the man was holding his ground. An almost impenetrable wall.

“It’s so boring doing these interrogations without an audience.” satisfied his sleeves were out of the way, he picked the hammer up once more. “Besides, you had your hands tied. I helped untie them. You’re welcome.”

He squatted once more, moving already battered toes to rekindle the sensations that had been dying down. Michael was whimpering now but still unwilling to divulge the information. Red glanced at Ressler as he swung once more.

* * *

“Red,” Liz drifted hesitantly on the line she had been tiptoeing around.

She could feel herself splitting into two different people. Something urged her to follow Ressler’s lead, to stop the torture, and bring the guy in. But another side, a much _darker_ side that she had cultivated while on the run, told her to turn around. To let Red do his thing. But now all she could see was the father of her child causing a man to scream in agony with droplets of blood splashing onto his sleeves.

“Put the hammer down now,” Ressler drew his gun. The victim mumbled in joy.

* * *

“Or what? You’re going to shoot me?” he started to laugh. “You might get off the first shot and you might injure me. But I can promise you, the followup shot wouldn’t be coming from your gun.” He turned back to Michael, giving his cheek a chummy slap. His face was wet with sweat and tears. “You want to know where Otto is, you will let me continue.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could’ve sworn he saw Lizzy duck away.

* * *

Liz pulled an unhinged piece of metal from the broken interior of the room that was sharp enough to accomplish her deed. She strode passed Dembe, who didn’t put up much of a fight after seeing the threatening look in her eye. She grabbed Michael by the collar, hovering inches above him,  restraints biting into his limbs and blocking Red from his work.

“Let’s call me the good cop in this scenario. Tell me where Otto is before this gets too out of hand.” Liz’s free hand threatened the shrapnel against the skin of his neck, drawing blood.

* * *

Red winced at the sight of Liz drawing blood from Michael’s neck. His hand shot to a scar on his neck where she had once punched a hole in his carotid.

_Good cop?_

If this was good cop, he hated to see her bad cop. Though it terrified him, he loved that she had begun to embrace her darker side.

“FINE. He’s, he's been moving his US operations to Georgia, somewhere near the the Port of Savannah I think.” Michael’s eyes rapidly flicked between the metal piece and the hammer. “But I haven’t had contact in three days. I’ve been waiting to hear from him so I can migrate his network.“ he was breathing heavily now.

“Lizzy…” now it was his turn to talk her down. He was watching her press the metal harder and harder into the already open wound.

* * *

The metal of the shrapnel clanged to the floor and echoed through the silent building. The hum of the creaky ventilation shafts filled the background with blank, wet noise. She released the boy with a thud and turned to Red. **  
**

“Don’t get used to this,” she grumbled. She knew Ressler wouldn’t let her hear the end of it, but she was lucky he didn’t intervene. Red he would have stopped, but Liz… She knew he still had a weak spot when it came her.

Ressler was grimacing when she finally met his eyes, blood still wet on her finger tips. Even Dembe’s eyes were shocked as he moved from the doorway. Liz stopped by Ressler, waiting for him to react. Snap at Red. Snap at her. Handcuff the guy. Run back to the car. Call Cooper. Anything. But instead what he said next was a surprise.

“So should we carpool to Georgia or just have another uncomfortable run in?”

* * *

“I for one will not be stuck in a car with you for eight hours Donald. Dembe will give you the address so we can take my jet.” he turned once more to look at Michael. “Don’t fret, I would never leave you here. You’ll be accompanying us.” his smile was met with a grimace.

The boy probably wouldn’t be too happy with his…accommodations for the flight but it would be significantly better than being left chained to a desk. Liz would probably argue for better treatment after the ordeal he just endured.

“Looks like we will have to make some arrangements while in the air. See if we can’t locate where good old Otto might have decided to set up his latest hell hole.” he clapped his hand on Ressler’s shoulder.

“For the record, I don’t agree with either of your methods for getting that information.” he cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Red.

“Your government seems particularly fond of that form of interrogation. They have whole manuals on interrogation techniques.” he could recall reading some of them. Very good reading for those lengthy flights or those sleepless nights when his inner demons decided to dance around his head.

“They’ve made exceptions. Doesn’t mean I approve of that decision.” his upper lip twitched in evident disgust.

“I suppose I can’t expect a tiger to change his stripes overnight. Spots look good on you Donald. You really should throw that rule book out.” with a chuckle and a shake of the head, he walked back towards his vehicle as Dembe collected their newest asset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry we took so long to update. Life got a little insane for the both of us over the past couple weeks. Things finally settled down and we are back. ~StarsAreMyOcean


	9. Chasing Demons

Liz sat crossed legged on the couch of Red’s private jet. Papers were still scattered around her on the open seats and side tables. She needed to build a profile on the brother and update the information they had thus far. Her scribbles were worse than usual with the turbulence and she couldn’t help but be distracted by Ressler’s phone call.

He was talking to the bureau, trying to explain his sudden leave of absence without crossing too many lines or admitting to being on an international fugitive’s private jet. He was in the back of the plane, separated from the rest, getting as much privacy as he could. He was clearly uncomfortable, but he still hovered towards Liz for security. At one point when the group was entering she would have called it _protectively_. He still wasn’t okay with Reddington’s newfound tether to her and the Taskforce.

Red was nowhere to be found, disappearing to the front of the plane with Dembe and the pilot. He mentioned something about arranging things before departure and had never returned. Part of her was glad, it gave her more time to think and organize her thoughts before his peering eyes dug into her notes.

She leaned back and kicked off her shoes, tucking her feet beneath her. Finally putting down her file, she closed her eyes. Her head slowly moved down to rest on the crook of her arm, already exhausted. Planes could lull her right to sleep, almost any mode of transportation could. But there was something about Reddington’s jet that made it extra easy…

Clouds and blue eyes. Green grass and white picket fences. Half awake and half asleep her dreams mixed with a semi-permeable reality.

* * *

After a lengthy conference with the pilot, and a phone call to a few contacts in Georgia, he returned to the others. Liz had convinced Red to not stow Michael in the cargo area. He was now sitting restrained on a couch with a medic tending to his mostly broken foot. Michael looked up at Red as he strode by, a look of displeasure on his face.

“You think this is supposed to make things better between us? That somehow I’ll feel indebted towards you for unchaining me and fixing what you destroyed.” his voice cracked slightly but the fury behind his words was clear.

“I really don’t care how you feel towards me Michael. Right now you are an asset I intend on exploiting as much as possible.” He walked past a blank faced Dembe, who was keeping a close eye on the boy.

The connections Michael had could be of great use. Between his skills and client list, the boy was a very valuable asset. It might take some additional persuasion to bring him to his side, but that was a bridge they would cross when they got to it. He settled into a seat next to Donald, across from the couch where Liz was resting.

“How long as she been asleep?” he glanced sideways to Donald.

“Few minutes. She was trying to update all our information on the family. I think she wore herself out.” he leaned forward to pick up a paper scrawled with illegible symbols. “She has the most unconventional shorthand I have ever seen. I have no idea how she can even read this.” he turned the paper the other way, an attempt to decipher the correct orientation before passing the document.

“Sometimes it’s best to not know exactly how someone’s mind operates.” his own mind would be the things nightmares are made of for the majority of the populace. “I spoke to a few contacts. Looks like Otto has been bribing a few people at the Heineken distribution center to help him move some of his own product between here and the Netherlands.”

“You don’t think he would be careless enough to hold the people there?” the corners of his eyes creased at the question.

“It’s never as easy as that Donald. I have someone prying around right now. Hopefully they can find out where they are being held, or at the very least, a good lead.”

Ressler silently nodded in response.

* * *

Liz heard mumblings of conversation and felt a paper being replaced on her lap, a hand lingering before being pulled away to fast. She reached instinctively out to grab his hand before it was gone, her eyes still closed. She quickly realized where she was and jostled awake to find four pairs of eyes staring back at her.

Quickly she gathered her notes, embarrassed that anyone had seen her ridiculously messy chicken scratch she called writing. Her feet slammed back down to the floor, slipping on her shoes one by one and raking her fingers through messy brown hair.

“So,” Liz cleared her voice of sleep that still coated her throat. “What’s the plan when we land? Have we located Otto?”

She had more questions for Red, but not any she’d ask in front of their current company. She needed to know where Agnes was, and if they didn’t return back in time, where she’d go. They’d neglected the conversation of long term childcare for too long and she was sorely paying the price for it now with her nerves.

* * *

He watched her eyes furiously try to toss the remaining weight of sleep from their lids. She was obviously exhausted and he felt terrible at having brought forth this case when he did. When this was all over, her owed her some much needed rest and relaxation

“Unfortunately we’ve yet to ascertain Otto’s whereabouts. We’re about forty-five minutes out from the airfield, I should at least have an update by then. We do know how he’s transporting product in and out of the country though.” she was still shuffling through papers, either trying to locate some tidbit of information she had dotted down or seeking to add additional information as it was presented.

“If we accomplish nothing else this trip, we can at least conduct some reconnaissance. Maybe get a team out here for further surveillance.” Donald cast him a less than kind look. They had been on less than stellar terms since the phone incident.

“Still thinking too much like an agent Donald. You want to find out what’s happening, you’ll need to check your morals at the door and get your hands a little dirty. Bathe yourself in the rancid stench that is Otto’s world. He’s a brilliant and exceptionally careful man. You set up a team like that and he will disappear faster than undergarments at prom.” If Ressler wanted a challenge, he was certainly going to get it. His comments were met with a disgusted eyeroll and heavy sigh.

“We haven’t exactly been in agreement about what to do when we touchdown. Care to add your two cents Keen?” his nostrils flared as they broke eye contact.

He too was curious as to Lizzy’s thoughts on the matter. She had been very difficult to read these past couple weeks. Brash. Tender. Dangerous. Naive. Among a host of other emotions and actions. When he looked at her now, he saw her less the agent working with an asset that she was in the beginning and more the Bonnie to his Clyde.

* * *

“I’m done eating dust and chasing shadows, this ends today. We’re finding Otto so I can get home to my baby girl.” Liz eyed the two of them, clearly still having a pissing match. She wondered what had been said while she was asleep.

Red nodded solemnly. Ressler crossed his arms.

“I’m sure Aram could watch Agnes tonight if we don’t make it back, but Keen do you realize what you’re saying?” Donald’s brow furrowed, casting green eyes concerningly in Liz’s direction.

“You’d rather watch another shipment slip between the cracks of bureaucracy? I’m doing what I know is right.” She knew Donald agreed, she could see it in his body language. The way he gripped the armrest, shifted his body in different direction, guarding his right side from Reddington, from the dark.

Ressler sighed and looked out the window, avoiding eye contact with his partner. He knew ultimately she was right but he’d need time to rationalize his decision. She could see right through him. He wasn’t sure if it was her profiling skills at work or if they’d really been that close over the years. Whatever it was, it frightened him, but he wasn’t about to let her know that.

* * *

A ringing phone broke the tension between the three parties. His contact must’ve finally come through with some information.

“Yes?” 

“Red, you’re not going to like this.” the voice on the other end of the line was laced with fear and concern.

//

He was tapping the antenna of the phone against the armrest. Seems Otto had been in the process of condensing his operations from various smaller sites into one large site in Georgia but something, or someone, had spooked him and things were moving back out as fast as they had come in.

“Michael, you said it’s been three days since you last had contact with Otto?” he cast the question over his shoulder.

“Maybe four, but ya. It’s been dead silent. He frequently goes longs periods of time without contact.” a perplexed look shadowed the boys face. “Why does it matter how long it’s been?”

“What was the tone of your last discussion?” he gravely questioned.

“Why does it matter?” great, another stubborn person to deal with.

“Now that I have a doctor here, I have no problem pushing your further than I already did. I know they can just bandage you back up.” he was not going to be distracted from answers he needed. “What was Otto’s tone?” he was getting fed up with the boy.

“I don’t know, he sounded pissed. Sounds like the move wasn’t exactly going as planned. It was going to be a little while before my services were required. Sent me $50,000 more dollars so I wouldn’t take on any other clients for the next two weeks and promised to double the contracted rate for the migration. I was supposed to hear from him by now with an update.” Otto was lining up his assets to be ready to move whenever and wherever he resurfaced.

“We need to move fast when we land. Sounds like our boy Otto is on the move again. If we don’t catch him now, he will be a ghost again. Donald, can I trust you to leave the agent act aboard the plane or do I have to restrain you here so Elizabeth and I can do what needs to be done?” Ressler was still as far away from Red as the seat allowed.

“Can’t make any promises but I’m sure as hell not setting you two loose after what I witnessed earlier.” his tone was still very much one of discomfort.

“That’ll have to do. Just don’t make me shoot you in the leg to keep you out of trouble.” 

* * *

Liz gave one last look to Ressler before disembarking the plane, feeling more self conscious in his presence. She followed Dembe’s stride towards the idling black car.

“Do we have a team? A plan?” Liz checked her gun and moved around to the trunk of the car. The driver opened it after a moment to reveal a myriad of guns and weapons. He was planning a siege.

Liz gave him a questioning look before removing something, stashing it away, and closing the lid. She slid into the back seat of the car next to Red. Donald sat up front.

“Doesn’t look like we’re making it back home to Agnes tonight,” she mumbled. She needed peace of mind with her daughter before she could move forward with the task at hand.

* * *

“If I ask Kate to keep her for the evening, the next murder scene she will be cleaning will be mine.” he softly chuckled. Everything had changed between the two of them since she had helped Liz fake her death to escape. Kate had become much more forward with him and he was slow to accept a changed dynamic. He pulled out his phone and dialed the Post Office.

“Agent Mojtabai.” his tone was cheery and bright.

“Mr. Reddington! Wasn’t expecting a call from you. How is the lead?” he was obviously very excited for this call.

“Looks like it’s going to be a more involved affair than we were anticipating. The three of us will not be returning home tonight. Elizabeth and I are in a bit of a bind with finding someone to care Agnes on such short notice. Would it be too much of an imposition to have you care for her for the night?” he knew Aram and Liz were very close friends and they both trusted the man beyond measure.

“You and– no of course not! I would be honored to watch Agnes for the both of you. Um, where might she be right now?” he was talking hurriedly. Things must be as crazy back there as they were here.

“Mr. Kaplan has her. I will let her know that you will be taking the reins. And please apologize profusely to her for me when you pick up Agnes. I was supposed to call her hours ago with an update.” with that he ended the call and quickly rang Kate to tell her what was happening. He gave her no time to respond.

They had a mission and it was moving far faster than intended. He turned his attention to his companions squished next to him. Michael was sitting handcuffed between him and Liz.

“Last April, several developers announced that they would be adding 3.6 million square feet of warehouse space right near the port to meet a large demand from their commercial customers. Otto leased one of the smaller warehouse spaces for an electronics manufacturing company named Holden Co., who’s registered owner is none other than Michael Holden.” Michael looked sharply to Red, mouth agape.

“Seems he has plans to burn you Michael. I don’t know who else he has on payroll for tech support but looks like you aren’t the only sheriff in town. I would bet those funds you recently received are part of some trail to link you to a part of his operations so _you_  would take the fall, not him, when things went south, as they inevitably are. Why he targeted you eludes me, but perhaps you can ask him face-to-face.” he simply smiled at the shell-shocked boy.

“Dembe, let’s go” the man put pedal to metal and they raced off to the warehouse.

* * *

The warehouse was quiet, the sun was beginning to set over the port and reflected harshly on the waters. Liz followed closely behind Red and Ressler who lead the charge. Behind her was Dembe and Michael, mouth duck taped, standing off to the side.

Seeing Ressler and Red work together was something out of a cartoon. If Tom and Jerry had ever joined forces, she was sure this would be the tangible recreation of it. The two were oil and water, stepping on each other’s toes and operating on such different levels. If they couldn’t acclimate, it would be the Achilles heel of this mission.

“Down,” she hissed rushing forward and slamming her hands on the meat of both their backs. Both resisted momentarily before dropping to their stomachs and joining her on the floor. Ressler to her right and Red to her left, she listened carefully for the movement of the guard she’d seen coming around the bend.

Donald went to speak before she pressed a thumb intimately to his lips and shaking her head. The ginger sound of footsteps ceased and she sprung to her feet moving forward to follow the guard. He was loaded, carrying an AK and a deadly looking frown. The building’s security cameras didn't appear to operational yet, the place was still under construction and apparently _deconstruction_ , since Otto was making a quick getaway.

She motioned down the hall at what looked like the main office, waiting once more for the guard to loop around another blind corner. They’d moved so fast she hadn’t had the chance to watch the guard rotation yet, study the paths, and the intervals. She could only assume there were more guards and they wouldn’t be safe for long. They needed a place to hide. They needed to find Otto and that office was their best bet. One look at Red and she could see his mind working, already two steps ahead of her. Flashing her eyes to the office he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a word she cut him off.

“I’ll stand guard. Ress, go with him.” She hoped that Ressler’s presence would keep him in check. Or bring them together. Whatever would happen, she trusted the two of them together in some inexplicable way. They’d found her together when Kirk had taken her and they’d find Otto together. Maybe this would even make the holidays less awkward moving forward. She couldn’t imagine Ressler and Red around a Christmas tree but maybe with Agnes in the middle there was a future, only with less guns. Far less guns.

She pressed her back up against the wall beside the door of the main office and watched the boys charge in. Red’s face was as calm as ever. As Ressler opened the door, Red’s eyes didn’t leave her’s, as if he was afraid to leave her at all. The cloudy blue pools disappeared behind the fresh paint of the off white doorway followed by a hollow clanging of metal.

Liz’s stomach dropped within the next ten seconds.

Two shots fired off.

* * *

He watched as the guard’s body fell to the floor, two shots to the chest. Kicking him aside, he moved further into the space. His AR was tucked tight to his shoulder, finger on the trigger, red dot glowing on its next target. The sound had alerted another guard. Three bullets ripped through his chest soon as he turned to the intruders. Red signaled to Donald to split off to the left. Otto had to be somewhere in this warehouse and they needed to cover ground as fast as possible.

“Reddington!” Donald called out to him and he quickly ran to his corner of the room. He was staring at a large monitor display. Surveillance cameras, covering every inch of the warehouse.

People were frantically moving about the space. Crates were being packed and lined up to move out. Donald’s face was fixated on one screen. He watched as young women and men were heaved into these crates. Red could feel the chills rolling off the man.

“We have to stop them.” Donald’s voice was solemn, almost broken. Red’s lip quirked in equal disgust.

“Any marks to identify what room that is? Those people are his product. His income. You can bet Otto is overseeing this move. As he’s not here, he must be watching in person.” He gripped his weapon’s forend tighter.

For years, he had built up his defenses so that he could numb himself to the horrors that plagued his world. But this one. This had gotten underneath his skin. Families pulled apart. People taken from those who loved them. It hit far too close to home for him and he could feel his demons threatening to break free.

“Judging by all these views, we’re looking for one large warehouse space as opposed to smaller storerooms. From this side of the building, we’re probably going to be looking for some double doors with no center beam.” Donald continued to analyze the screens. He pointed to some doors matching that description in a shadowy corner of one screen. “All we need to do is figure out where those doors are relevant to us.”

“We saw guards go by when we entered the building. My bet is they were rotating. If we follow the same path as those guards, it should lead us right to the warehouse. And to Otto.” Red was ready to take this man down and free all these people he had captured. Reunite them with their families. Try to build his own.

* * *

Donald charged out of the room faster than she’d seen him move in a long time. He was a man on a mission, the heartfelt and protective boy scout was in full swing. Red walked out behind him. She could see the anger seething behind what most people would interpret as a calm expression. His eyes met her’s with a grave look of seriousness, he’d seen something. Before she could ask where they were going, what they were doing, another guard looped around the corner behind Red.

She lifted her gun and fired off two shots just above his right shoulder. Red stood stoically still trusting in her aim and protection. Down the thug went, his gun spattering carelessly to the floor.

“We need to move,” her eyes never leaving the hallway behind him.

* * *

“They’re traveling in packs of two. His partner will be just behind.” No sooner had the words fallen from his lips did two more shots ring out. He looked over his shoulder to see Donald standing over the slumped body of the other guard. He looked toward the pair and readied himself for the coming seige.

Red nodded to Dembe, who pressed a pistol into the small of Michael’s back as he pushed him down the hall. The boy wasn’t too happy being used as a human shield.

“Come on Lizzy.” His heart was beating a path to war, blood ready to boil over.

//

The small team kicked the doors open, rifles shouldered. The loud clanging of the door against the wall alerted more of the security detail. Brass tinged on the polished concrete floor as gunsmoke and debris filled the air. He felt a bullet graze his arm, hot lead cutting through cloth and flesh. He watched unarmed personnel and victims dive for cover. One movement at the far end of the room caught his eye.

“Otto.” All he could see was red. He blasted through one guard with far more bullets than necessary. Dropping a depleted magazine, he continued his advance through the room, eyes never leaving their target. Hands quickly worked a full magazine back into the rifle and he pulled the charging handle. This hunt ended today. Ended now.

* * *

Liz shot two guys ready to flank Red as he tunnel visioned into Otto. She watched as Dembe seemingly protected their hostage while taking out more goons than the whole of them combined. Donald took to punching one of the men into the corner, knuckles bloodied and bruised as he ran to the now abandoned crates of trafficked goods.

Liz quickly side stepped through Dembe and Donald to help one of the girls who was caught in the crossfire, blood dripping down her arm and pooling into her hand. Liz dropped her weapon to the ground and applied pressure to the wound with her bare hands before heat was racing through her own body, her own blood mixing in with the girl’s. Liz hissed out loudly in pain and rolled to the ground, three more shots whizzing past her ear. She curled her body around the crying woman in a protective shield while locating the gun with her uninjured right arm.

* * *

The sounds of Liz being hit pulled him out of his trance. Whipping around, their eyes locked. A pained expression shadowed her face, but her eyes told another story. They burned with a fury equal to his own. She wanted this bastard caught as badly as he.

//

The last flames of an evening sun poured in through large warehouse windows, casting a brutal orange glow. He had caught up to Otto. Lining up his shot he pulled the trigger.

The bullet punched through Otto’s knee sending him face first into the cold, hard floor. He curled himself into ball, writhing in the pain of shattered bone and torn ligaments. Red’s hips swayed as he strode next to man. He rested the butt of his rifle near Otto’s face, squatting down. The injured man rolled his now bloodied face to look at his assailant.

“Raymond Reddington. Should’ve known. Has the Concierge of Crime come to escort me to hell?”

* * *

Dembe got the rest of the hired hands down on their knees and disarmed them. Donald attended to the victims individually, looking towards Red with curiosity. He wanted Otto as bad as Red and he wasn’t about to let the rogue Robin Hood take him away from the Bureau’s custody.

Liz pistol whipped her assailant to the ground, unconscious. She was seething. Her protective mother instincts were at an all time high and as she looked out at the sea of people Otto had acquired. She spotted some doe eyed and terrified children cowering into themselves and a few men. Organ “donors” she assumed. But mostly, the shipment consisted of young women of childbearing age. The thought revolted her.

She heard Red’s voice clearly through the chaos and knew he was ready to unleash a storm on the victims curator. An eerie calm always entered his voice as he calculated his rage to be unleashed in the most deadly of ways. This wasn’t a side of Red she was particularly fond of, but she knew there was always a time and place. This was the time. And the place.

She had heard the stories of the vicious things Raymond did to get her back from Kirk but now she was witnessing first hand. It was as if a switch had flipped on back then, or maybe, more accurately, a filter had been switched off… She couldn’t be sure.

She turned away from him, hand pressed hard to her shoulder still bubbling blood. She needed to help these victims and get them back to their families and loved ones. Back to safety.

* * *

Cold laughter parted his lips.

“Yes Otto. You know I have done many deplorable things in the past thirty years but you? Oh, you are something else entirely.” he shook his head, looking down on the man like a cat playing with a mouse before the final blow.

“Trying to be all high and mighty? You are no better than I. All the people you have killed–”

“Every person I have ever shot deserved the bullet I put through them. You, on the other hand, you roll around in the same grime as the mercenaries. Those who are only interested in earning a quick buck no matter the cost to earn those funds. Have you ever taken even five minutes to think about those who you have stolen from their families? About the families who are left behind?” a blank stare greeted him.

He might be ruthless at times, but at least he understood that every action he took had a consequence. The weight of all the lives he had taken burdened his own soul. Yes, he felt every shot was justified, but that didn’t make the pain any less.

“There is no feeling worse than having that which you love more than anything brutally taken from you. The hole in your heart that hurts worse than any bullet wound.” He pushed the muzzle of his rifle into the open knee wound, wrenching screams and cussings from Otto.

The cries of the women, the men, and worst of all the children that had fallen victim to Otto over the decades rang loudly in his head. It pained him the many lives that he had been unable to save. He would be sure Otto suffered as much as possible for each and every one of them.

“The woman I love and our child were once taken from me. The light in my life was gone and the darkness consumed me. My world crumbled around me and I lost my way.“ He looked off into the distance. “I set fire to the world, watched as the flames devoured everything in my path to get her back. To get the both of them back. It is that same fire I will unleash upon you now for the families of every soul you have ever harmed.” He pointed his rifle at Otto’s other knee and pulled the trigger, point blank. 

* * *

She listened closely to Red’s speech over the cries of the people around her. Only mumbled words could be made out, a fragmented sentence here or there, but the point was clear. The gunshot and scream of pain that followed was even more so.

Ressler’s head snapped up at the hollow sound of the round breaking bone. This wasn’t the way to interrogate Otto, let alone the way to deal with him, but what he can’t see he can’t help. Donald’s attention refocused in on the victims, a grimace of conflicting emotions eating up the whole of his face.

“Dembe,” Ressler called out. The two men lifted one of the heavy shipping crates and, with their combined strength, ripped the front open to reveal more cowering humans. Liz reached over and grabbed Michael by the collar, dragging him along the grungy pavement of the warehouse in Dembe’s stead.

“He’ll do that to you if you don’t cooperate,” she threw Michael’s body in view of the actions of the Concierge of Crime. The boy shook as Raymond crunched the pieces of bone with the butt of his gun and cringed as the recipient released a howl unlike anything he’d ever heard.

“My sister,” Michael mumbled, eyes still fixed on the scene. “You find her and I’ll do whatever you want.” His eyes whipped up to Liz’s, a scared and desperate little boy torn away from his own family.

“She doesn’t belong in this world and Otto has her. Find her,” he begged, “Please.”

* * *

He stood over the battered man, waiting for the screams and grunts to subside.

“Family can be such a…complicated affair. This one seems to be a bit more convoluted than most and it looks like you are caught in the crossfire. Tell me what you know about the Holden’s. Where is Serena?” He voice dropped to an intimidating growl. He wanted answers to what was going on with this family.

“I never touched that bitch Serena. You want to find her, look to her allies. Powerful, terrifying people. Heh heh.” Otto’s pained moans twisted with cruel laughter. “Oh Raymond, you have no idea the shit you’ve stepped into this time.”

“Enlighten me.” he cocked his head sideways. It never ceased to entertain him the information men divulged as they trod down the path to death’s door.

“Veratrum. You know her as Veratrum.” He face contorted in a vile grin.

Red knew the name, knew of the stories. Veratrum’s _modus operandi_ was to infiltrate, disrupt, and flush out. Her name a homage to a beautiful but deadly flower and it’s ability to rapidly bring about death. She could take down a system in no time, and expose it’s owner to the Cabal, who moved equally as quickly to eliminate this target.

“How does the brother factor into the equation? Why blame him?” his eyes flicked across Otto’s body, trying to gauge how much blood he had lost, and how much more information he could gather before blood loss claimed his consciousness.

“Michael? He’s her one weakness. I set him up to slow her down. An antidote for her violent poison.” his eyes were flickering, his body beginning to fade.

At those words he strode towards his team with the new knowledge that the sister was not quite the victim they originally thought. He was done with Otto. Donald could have whatever was left of him, if Otto could even hang on much longer. For all he cared, he could bleed out.

* * *

The police sirens could be heard in the distance. The FBI was already on their way and that meant it was time for Raymond to make his grand escape. It was pushing nine and Donald was handling Otto until someone could stop him. Raymond came to inspect her wounds, but his look urged them to leave.

“I’m not leaving them,” she looked over to the struggling people. “I’m not leaving Ressler. This is my job Red, I can’t vanish into the wind like you.”

* * *

_This is my job Red._

The words echoed like a viscous reminder that no matter how close they were, they still lived in two different worlds. It pained him when she took that tone with him. He pressed his lips to her forehead, certain she wouldn’t die on him from her injuries.

“Call me as soon as you _can_  vanish Lizzy.” With that he was off, Dembe and Michael mere steps behind.

* * *

It took nearly two hours to clean the scene up and find enough transportation for all the victims. Donald was already on the next convoy to the local FBI branch to interrogate Otto and take him to DC in the morning.

The blood had stopped and she’d been patched up well enough to rotate her shoulder again. It had been a flesh wound that went all the way through, she was lucky this time. All she could think about was her daughter and the sacrifices she was making without thinking twice. With the line of work both her and Raymond were in… Agnes was in jeopardy of becoming an orphan almost constantly. The prospect made her sick.

She called Red as soon as she was free and heading downtown to civilization in a squad car. She was starving and he had promised dinner.

* * *

“Lizzy, tell your driver to drop you off at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. I already have a room for us under Roger Raymond. I told them my wife would be joining me shortly. Just give my name to the gentleman at the counter. He’ll give you the room key, no questions asked.” On that note, he ended their call.

His clothing was a mess, and he knew Liz’s were practically destroyed. Hopefully he could have something brought to them quickly. He was absolutely famished from the day’s events and this dinner was long overdue.

* * *

He was right, acquiring the key was no problem and up the elevator she went. She let herself into the swanky hotel suite where Red was already changing into a new set of clothes. Steam from a hot shower still fogged the mirrors and left a moistness to the air that made her want to crawl in bed and never leave.

A new set of casual clothes for her were sitting on the bed next to the rest of his outfit. She could see the bloodied discarded ones in the corner. She approached him from behind to inspect his wound through his half dressed clothes.

“The Concierge level really?” the irony hadn’t been lost on her.

* * *

He chuckled at her remark. Wasn’t his fault he and the floor happened to share a moniker. Her expression amused him greatly. He turned to kiss her on the cheek.

“I thought we would go casual tonight. I know you weren’t exactly pleased with me at the opulence of our last evening out. There’s this wonderful little gastropub in town with rave reviews.” He broke contact with her so he could bandage the still stinging wound.

“Go, get ready. It’s only open for a couple more hours.”

* * *

Twenty minutes and they were out the door and into Red’s waiting car outside the lobby. They didn’t do much talking, there wasn’t much to say. The day had been a whirlwind and leaving Agnes for the evening had left a hole in her heart that had been filled with anxiety and grief.

An eight minute car ride was all it took before Red was opening her door and leading her into the restaurant. At this point she didn’t care what they served, just that they served it fast.

* * *

The waitress escorted them to a booth against the wall. It gave them quite a bit of privacy from the few other diners still there at such a late hour. He watched Liz staring blankly at the menu that was presented to them. The weight of the past few days finally catching up to her.

“Excuse me, Melissa was it?” He called the waitress back.

“Yes, how can I help you?” she cheerily smiled at them.

“My wife and I just arrived in town, heard lovely things about this place. Care to offer any recommendations for food and drink?” He returned her sweet smile with one of the most innocent he could muster.

At her recommendation, he ordered soup and flat breads for the both of them, a local bourbon for himself, and some rose blossom cocktail that he was certain Liz would enjoy. Her face looked simply delighted at not having to think any more than necessary at the moment.

* * *

“What if things had gone differently tonight…” She picked at the bread basket placed on the table and sipped at her drink. At the pace her thoughts were going she would need another soon.

“If the shots had been more accurate Agnes could be an orphan right now.” She could barely muster the words in her head, let alone out loud. She took a longer sip and met his eyes.

* * *

“Thankfully that wasn’t the case Elizabeth.” Dinner was never just dinner with them. It seemed to be the only time they could sit and have a genuine conversation.

“I’ve been thinking quite a bit about Agnes’ current childcare situation.” he took a swig of his drink, needing a touch of courage. He knew this was going to go over about as well as a smoldering cigarette in a field of dry brush. “I have a few people in mind. I know Aram and Samar would be more than happy to assist. And your grandfather would love the opportunity to get to know the both of you.”


	10. Home

Did he just..?

Liz couldn’t form words. It was as if he’d just mentioned the score of the Patriots game, not the truth of a lifetime. How long had he known? Why did he know her grandfather? How was he still alive? Why did he wait so long to tell her?

A million questions swirled in her head but anger over being kept in the dark bubbled in her gut. Their relationship might have changed but it seemed the secrets had not.

“Is that all I get? What do you expect me to say Raymond? ‘Yay! Thank you for telling me, let’s go live happily ever after’?” Betrayal. The word seeped into her mind and filled her tone. The pain of betrayal stabbed at her heart again.

* * *

He looked at her wide-eyed. She was right to be pissed at him, he expected her fire, but that knowledge didn’t make facing it any easier. A familiar burning sensation tickled his lower lids.

“You don’t seem to take me beating around the bush too kindly.” he could feel his lower jaw starting to quiver. “Yes. I hid him from you. Mostly at his request. Though I’m sure when the two of you do meet, you will have quite the evening of tearing me to shreds. He’s been harboring equally hostile feelings towards me.” he tried to meet her eyes, but the intensity of her gaze was terrifying.

He and Dom had left on more amicable terms after their last encounter, but he was certain the man would gladly take any chance he could get to rag on him.

* * *

Before she could say another word their meals were placed in front of them. The tension was palpable and her glass empty.

“Is there anything else I can bring you two?” The waitress gave them an uncomfortable look.

“Another drink,” she pushed the glass to the edge of the table, eyes never leaving Red’s.

“Talk,” she commanded once the waitress was gone.

She wasn’t going to storm off or run away. She was done with that phase of her life. No matter how much she wanted to punish him or hide from the past, she knew it was in vain. Besides it only ended up hurting her as well. She loved him but right now…she didn’t trust him. Would she ever have the full story? Would she ever know everything?

* * *

He finally dared to meet her gaze. It was a look she had inherited from her mother and her grandfather. A fury that had been perfected and refined with each generation. He feared the day Agnes joined their ranks.

“When you were four, your father took you from your mother. The coward waited until we were both away for business to steal you from your caregiver. Your mother was distraught when she returned to an empty house. Her face that night will haunt me forever. You…the one good, pure thing in her life…gone. I swore to her that I would find you, and bring you home.” he poked at his food, suddenly not hungry anymore. He looked out the window near their booth, head swimming as painful memories came flooding back.

“It didn’t take long to find him. Katarina was furious, and she assembled a small team of people to extract you. Your grandfather and I were two of a handful of men she brought with her for the task. Your father had fled to your family summer home, the reconstruction of which you encountered several months ago. We met him there. They fought. As they had done frequently in years prior. Soon as he drew a gun on your mother, it was knocked from his hand. The tension escalating. No one knew he had hid you in the room until a shot went off.” When he looked back to her, he swore he saw a reflection of her as a child in the depths of those eyes.

* * *

“He said he took me because I wasn’t safe…” Liz didn’t know what to believe. Just when she started trusting her father he was taken away. Just like everything else in her life.

“Was my grandfather… Was he a part of all this? With my mother?” Kirk had planted seeds of doubt in her mind of Red’s past but she’d pushed them aside. But with these new admissions she wasn’t sure Kirk had been wrong.

Her hatred and betrayal was momentarily placed on hold by the millions of questions swirling around her head. With every word from his mouth a new question appeared. With every answer, two more in it’s place.

* * *

“Look at the world you and I are a part of. Look at the fears you have with Agnes…” he almost choked on the words. Never. He never wanted to admit that wretched man was right about anything. “The world we are a part of, the world your mother and I were apart of…not always the safest place. Especially where a child is concerned.” The shadows were a place of monsters and nightmares. Ones that haunted him then, and plagued him now.

“Your grandfather was a KGB agent, like your mother. He recruited her at a young age. She was an exceptional agent. Unsurpassed intelligence and extremely meticulous.” he noticed she had pushed her plate away. He carefully pushed it back towards her, hoping she would notice the subtle suggestion.

She was entering interrogation mode. Focused on a singular task. To unravel the mysteries that he had long wrapped around him like a comfortable blanket.

A blanket which he wasn’t fond of removing from him but what choice did he have? He could no longer keep secrets from her and expect her to stay. No, it was best he showed her the true horrors that hid within him. Then if she did leave, it would be with the truth and not some redacted version of the truth.

* * *

“Did you keep us apart? Did you keep him from me?” She glared at Red.

Did he really have the gall to still play gatekeeper of truth, deciding what’s allowed to come in and out of her life. What she can and cannot know. What family she’s allowed to have.

“You know what? Never mind.” She pushed her plate firmly into the center of the table and placed her napkin over the half eaten food.

“Check!” She called out to the server. The tone in her voice and look in her eye said was not to be messed with. The woman scrambled to the computer and began entering the total.

“What I really want to know,” she locked her eyes back on Red. His face was full of guilt and remorse, he was swallowing back words of apology. “Is how long you’ve been dancing around this. How long have you kept this plan to yourself and let me worry that we’d lose our family? How long have you lied to me after our new arrangement?” 

That was the ultimate break of trust. The past was the past, but he was still keeping secrets from her and that wasn’t going to fly.

Mysterious grandfather or not, adoption was still on her mind. She knew they weren’t enough for Agnes to be safe. Even with Samar and Aram, Mr. Kaplan and Dembe, even Cooper and Sharlene… This wasn’t a life, no this wasn’t a place, to raise a child. How could he think some ex-KGB spy was any better?

* * *

“You think I enjoy keeping secrets from you Lizzy? That this is all some sort of game for me and I get some sick pleasure in watching you walk through the world blissfully unaware?” Eyes now peered in their direction from the other diners. His voice lowered to a grumbly whisper.

“I want to tell you everything. All the truths. The full truths. But let me tell you this, you will not get them in just one evening over dinner. Oh no. It’s not as simple as you presume it to be. And it’s even more difficult when every time I do try to tell you, what I say upsets you and you storm off.” He gave her a resolute glare.

“This isn’t easy for either of us Elizabeth.” Hatred radiated off her, hitting him hard in the heart.

The waitress returned with their receipt and quickly scurried away, with none of her earlier bubbliness. He fussed with his hat a bit, watching Liz almost run to the door. Her coat brushing against the glass in her haste to leave him. With a heavy sigh he chased after her.

* * *

It had been a long day. She needed to rest and reassess the situation with fresh eyes. He called her name down the street as she pulled her jacket tighter around her, still trying to process the information.

How could she leave her daughter, _her Agnes_ , with some grandfather she’d never met before? How was she supposed to raise her? Give her everything she deserved? Was this Red’s way of asking for an out? She was naive to ever believe they could be a family…

Red finally caught up to her. He was too worried to touch her, to ask her to wait. She spun around on her heels, throwing him off his forward momentum.

“You didn’t even tell me his name,” it was more of a whisper. A sadness in her voice. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to _fight_.

* * *

His hands gently traced the air around her outline. As they fell limply to his side, he took a small step back, regaining his balance.

“Dominic Orlov. Hates the name, prefers to go by Dom. I only kept him from you because that’s the way it was supposed to be. You weren’t supposed to know about him…about…” His jaw fell limply, reality slapping him in the face like a cruel bitch. He cast his eyes just to the side of Liz’s head.

“Honestly, I’m not even supposed to be here Elizabeth…” The words so softly spoken, they barely registered to his own ears. “I was supposed to watch and protect from the shadows, not cast a shadow over you. But I was selfish…then and now I suppose.” he let out a soft, uncomfortable chuckle as he fought back tears and feelings ready to burst forth.

“I have been dancing around this, around _everything_ since that first day.” He finally looked at her, guard completely down, raw emotions plastered on his face. “Lizzy I am exhausted. Decades of harsh secrets from a cruel world…I know we made an agreement, one which I feel immeasurable guilt over breaching, but you are not the only one afraid of losing _our_ family. All I have are secrets and you. I am constantly at war with myself over the two.”

He had no idea the words to say, where to even begin. The truth was long, complicated, and excruciatingly painful _._ But none of that mattered if only she would give him the days, months, years to tell it. And allow him to tell it regardless of how uncomfortable it might make her feel.

“Where shall we begin?” With a heavy sigh, he held his elbow out, hoping for her to link arms with him. Maybe a midnight walk, in the cool Spring air was just the setting they needed to finally have this conversation. No case hanging over their head. No pomp and circumstance. Just the two of them, walking side by side down the street.

* * *

Two hours later and she wasn’t sure her head could handle anymore answers. If information was power, Raymond Reddington was the all powerful. They finally sat down on a park bench in the dead of night half mumbling to each other. Their guard was down but the pain of a shared history neither wanted to admit was still very much present. Some questions she didn’t even dare to ask…

“So this Dom, my grandfather… He agreed to this? Agnes would just live there? In the middle of nowhere?” Liz imagined the commutes to see her daughter.

Would she live there also? She knew it would come to that, desperately needing to be with Agnes. She’d never be home between work and seeing her only child. She wasn’t going to be the parent that missed the first step, a first word, the first haircut.

* * *

“There was some grumbling about leaving a retired old man to his peace and quiet. But I think the prospect of getting to know both you and Agnes warmed his heart. Then again he’s about as happy with me as you are with the secrets, and the two of you are some of the biggest question marks in his life.” he shrugged his shoulders. He could feel her eyes boring into the side of his head once again.

“Relax Lizzy, he would be very happy to take in Agnes. And who knows? Maybe with all your charming, we could convince him to allow us to stay for a while? It’s not a house of our own, but it would be a good first step. Plus I don’t think the commute to the Post Office is all that bad. You’ll adapt to it just like every other parent making the trek to provide for their family.” he was mindlessly rubbing her upper back now.

He wanted nothing more than to give her the house of her dreams and the idyllic family life. To step back from the years of vanishing acts and plant some roots. Make a family with Liz. Raise Agnes to be a beautiful, strong woman. If they could convince Dom to let them move in for a while, it might do the bunch of them a world of good.

* * *

It took one full day of travel but the next thing Liz knew she was standing on a rustic porch, Agnes in her arms and Red at her side. Red was dressed casually in black jeans and a dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, no hat to be seen. Out in the woods he looked at peace, the city slicker retreated and a new more domestic Red in his place. He shouldered a bag of baby supplies and a small rucksack for Liz. He wasn’t staying.

Tentatively he knocked on the door, eyes still fixed on Agnes who had drifted off to sleep in the car some time ago. A portly old man with a baseball cap and heavy green jacket, white hair tickling his chin and the sides of the hat, answered the door. He looked as if he had just came from work out back, sweat dripping from his brow, veins in his neck straining.

“Masha,” calm blue eyes met her’s.

“It’s Liz,” she cleared her throat thinking about her dead father. “I, um, I go by Elizabeth now.”

She smiled as genuinely as she could, but her past never came back kindly. Especially in the form of a person.

* * *

“Hello Dom, care to meet your granddaughter and great-granddaughter?” he cocked his head sideways, his tone excessively cheery. Calm blue eyes turned into stormy seas, piercing into Red.

“Don’t give me that doe eyed bullshit Raymond. I don’t like you very much right now. Her and the child? I will talk with them. _You_ can sit silently on the couch.” Dom stepped aside allowing Liz and Agnes to pass into the cozy home. He placed a hand on Red’s chest before allowing the man to enter. 

“Try not to insert yourself into anything else you aren’t supposed to. I want you to talk, I will ask you.” With a grunt, he let Red enter and locked the door behind them.

Red placed the bag on a bench near the entrance and settled himself onto the couch next to Liz. Careful to leave distance between the two of them, lest he give Dom any more ammo than the man already had.

* * *

Agnes began stirring and fusing in her arms. Dom leaned forward cautiously looking at the child, speaking in his own unique language. He wanted a better look at her. Liz made a snap decision and placed the child on the floor, Red shifting in his own right to watch over her. Within seconds Liz joined her on the soft carpet, crossing her legs.

“Red, can you grab the elephant? The spotted one not the blue one.” She waved her hand towards the bag he’d placed at the door.

She faced the long lost ghost of a grandfather, already seeing the resemblance in his face. The way it lifted as he smiled at the child. Agnes crawled to the man’s feet shakily, this was still a new task but she was taking to it rapidly and with gusto. She was strong, they both could see that. He looked to his granddaughter before touching the child and Red reentered the room.

“Agnes,” Liz’s voice lifted to unnatural heights. “This is your great-grandfather.” Stroking Agnes’ hair gave her life and seeing the tenderness in Dom’s face gave her hope. Red’s hand landed softly on her shoulder as he crouched down to hand his daughter the toy.

“Say hi,” she smiled.

* * *

He couldn’t help but smile at the chubby little fingers reaching out for the stuffed animal. Grabbing it, she proceeded to bash it against the floor before settling down to play with it in her lap. The giggles and smile were intoxicating and he couldn’t help but match his expression to hers.

“Raymond, I’m still not happy you slept with my granddaughter. Nor that you knocked her up. But…I cannot be upset at the chance to get to know Elizabeth.” he looked to Liz, eyes almost sparkling. “A chance I never thought I would get. And the precious Agnes. I did not think I would live to see this generation of my family.” The pride in his voice was evident.

Uncomfortably, Red returned to the couch next to Liz. Him and cushions never seemed to agree when something was on his mind. Finally settling into the right spot, he reclined and rested his arm behind Liz.

“Dom, would it be too much to ask you to have additional company?”

“You’re sleeping in the shop. I will not lose what little sleep I get in my old age to your snoring.” he was gesturing wildly at the bay window behind him. Red shook his head and rolled his eyes. Dom was stubborn and cheeky as ever.

“I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about having Liz stay here for a while. Don’t give me that look Lizzy. I have some business I need to attend to and I know you two want to get to know each other.” He and Liz had yet to discuss matters further than quick blurbs on their drive here.

Hopefully, it wouldn’t take more than a bottle of scotch to bribe Dom into letting him stay the night, preferably in the house. Might need to bribe Liz too since he was in the figurative doghouse with her…last thing he needed was for them to bond at his expense.

* * *

Agnes was the shining light of the evening, banishing the uncomfortable silence into the dark. There’s nothing like the cuteness of a baby to bring everyone together. Though Red kept his distance, Liz had an opportunity to get to know her grandfather through his interactions with her child. Within an hour she knew she could trust him with her life, aka Agnes. Red made the two men a drink and took his place back on the couch. 

The evening had grown late and traveling all day had worn the family out. Before she knew it, Dom was showing her to the small guest room that shared a thin wall with the master. It was a twin sized bed like something out of a freshman dorm room, but she was glad to have the accommodation nonetheless.

“We can go into town in the morning and find a suitable arrangement for little Agnes in the morning.” Dom carried fresh blankets into the room and placed them at the foot of the bed.

“I brought something temporary until then,” Red said pulling together a mess of plastic and faux cushion. The travel crib was a monster to lug around but it fit in the room perfectly so she wouldn’t be far from her daughter at any time.

“We shouldn’t be here too long. I wouldn’t want to put you out.” Liz rocked her daughter near the window, swaying back and forth gently, getting back into the parenting groove.

She still needed to call Cooper. She planned on asking for that maternity leave she never took so she could spend the next few weeks acclimating Agnes to the new environment. If Red really thought this was a long term solution, Liz wanted to make sure it was perfect before she left Dom and her child alone to fend for themselves. If she was ever going to fully return to work she needed to know that Agnes was safe at all times. Dom could very well be that solution. Plus it would give her more time to ask questions about her mother. Maybe even Red if she was bold enough, though it didn’t seem to be a favorite topic for the old woodsman.

* * *

When the awful travel crib was finally set up, he wrapped himself around Liz’s waist, kissing her tenderly on the neck. He stole a glance at the sleepy eyed Agnes, lazily toying with a stray strand of her mother’s hair. He was glad the day had gone as well as it had. Dom was clearly in love with both Liz and Agnes and Red could tell he would do all he could to assist. The waves of anger still rolled against Red, but he hoped those would soften in due time.

“Thank you for coming here today Lizzy. I know you weren’t happy with the suggestion initially but I think it will be a good arrangement for some time.” He began to gently sway to and fro. Liz leaned back into him and Agnes’ eyes began to flutter.

“I have a few business matters I need to attend to in the coming weeks. Some assets I intend to liquidate, loose ends to tie up, deals to close….perhaps begin our search for that perfect little home far away from the world.” His mind drifted thousands of miles away, his to-do list growing the longer the seconds ticked past.

His body and soul ached from decades of this work and little to no time to relax. With Liz and Agnes, he needed to make that time. He wanted to be there for the both of them. It would take some time to get everything in order, but it would all be worth it in the end.

* * *

As soon as the sun broke over the trees, her room was flooded with morning’s gentle caress. She stirred even before Agnes. Red still had an arm draped over her hips casually, trying their best to fit in the tiny twin bed. It was uncomfortable, but spending the night in Red’s arms was a worthy trade off.

//

“Cooper,” her voice was a husky whisper in the kitchen bouncing between the hollow floors and concrete walls.

“Yes, we’re good.” There was a pause. “Ressler said that?” She chuckled.

“I was hoping to talk to you about something,” she waited.

“No not that,” she laughed again. Cooper was in a joyous mood after such a big capture for the Taskforce.

“About that maternity leave… I was hoping to take the next month off, spend time with Agnes, get our childcare situation more permanently situated.” He didn’t even think before happily agreeing.

“Masha?” Liz hadn’t heard Dom enter the room until he was right up on her. Ever the Russian spy.

“Excuse me,” his gruff voice cleared awkwardly. “Elizabeth… Lizzy.” His soft blue eyes met her’s.

“Cooper I’ll talk to you soon,” she ended the call and turned around quickly and checked the time. He was an early riser.

“You’re up early,” the old man pulled out a carton of eggs from the refrigerator and a pack of what looked like homemade bacon, crudely wrapped in parchment.

“The sun doesn’t leave me many options,” she chuckled uncomfortably getting out of his way as he started his breakfast routine.

Before the conversation could move any further, Red padded out of the room sleepily but already dressed. His eyes weren’t heavy with sleep but instead were focused in instinctual protection. She wondered if he’d ever feel safe. Even in the new house he talked so passionately about, would feel safe enough to stay sleepily beside her, dulled and relaxed on a Sunday afternoon.

“Lizzy, could I have a moment?” He lead her out to the front porch, taking her by the hand.

* * *

Outside, he gently caressed her hand and gazed off into the fiery glow of the early morning. He hated having to leave her after they had just started to work things out. But there was no rest for the wicked. When he finally gathered his thoughts, he looked back to the glowing angel standing just feet from him. She looked simply perfect in this light. He hated that he needed to leave her for any period of time.

“Lizzy…” he gently cupped her face in his hands, closing the distance between them. He pressed his lips to hers, a wet, emotional kiss. When he finally pulled away, he tucked her head under his chin and stroked her long, silky hair.

“Please, enjoy the time off with Agnes and Dom. If ever you need me, I am only ever a call away. I want to do right by you, by us, and I need you to promise me that you will let me do what needs to be done in order to give you everything you ever wanted.” His voice had dropped down to it’s booming baritone.

“I _will_  see you sooner rather than later Lizzy. I promise you that.” He pressed a kiss into the top of her head. He hoped things wouldn’t take longer than two weeks. He wanted to enjoy some of Liz’s time off. Spend it with his fragile yet beautiful family.

* * *

“Call me when you get to Milan,” she mumbled into his coat before pulling away. This wasn’t a goodbye. She’d had too many of those already.

His eyes were nearly transparent in the morning glow, both in color and emotion. He hated to leave, but she was glad to have the time alone with Dom. There were so many questions she wanted to ask and things she needed to learn. Having Red gone gave her a special opportunity she wouldn’t take for granted.

But having Red gone also meant missing firsts with Agnes, with their family. First steps, first haircut, first word, who knows what time would hold for them. She needed some stability in her life and this next month would be the window into what could have been if she chose the simple life. A life outside of the Rostovs, the Taskforce, the Blacklisters. But she wouldn’t change it for the world. They had gone through hell and back together and came out better for it. There was an unbreakable bond between them now, a partnership that would continue to grow as they grew their family and hunted down the scum of the Earth.

A new hope was rising with the dawn. She could taste it in the air and feel it in her bones. Something new was around the corner, challenges and victories alike. She leaned up to kiss him one last time, his arms still wrapped around her, before the smell of breakfast and cries of Agnes broke the trance. Home. It felt like home.

* * *

The walk from the porch to his car was the longest walk he ever endured. His heart beat in tandem with every step he took. Flashes of memories came to him, of everything that had lead to this moment. Of the journey he had endured. Of the beautiful woman and his gorgeous daughter who he knew would be right here waiting for his return. All the heartaches and pitfalls. The glimmers of light and hope. Everything sparkled and shimmered in his mind and his heart.

When he looked back, he saw that Dom now stood protectively close to Liz, Agnes in his arms. He closed his eyes to deeply inhale the clean forest air. This was the beauty and the peace he had long desired. It might not be where they stay forever, but for now, this was home.

After years of wandering, a soul lost in the darkness, he had finally found his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far, thank you for following our insane journey. Stay tuned for an edited version of this story and for the next story in the series (yes! we've already begun to plot it out!!) ~StarsAreMyOcean
> 
> We're kinda running away with our imaginations and starting another story with a new Blacklister. Go check out "book 2" on our RP Tumblr pages or here on A03! ~cantletgo

**Author's Note:**

> *Side note*  
> We're trash, complete and utter Lizzington trash, and we're really just riding off into a fluffy smutty adventurous and completely self-serving sunset. Care to join? -cantletgo


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